Are Stay at Home Moms More Depressed?

Mothers at Work May Have More Physical and Emotional Health Benefits

Aug 5, 2007
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Moms Working From Home Less Depressed - stock xchange Marinela

In The Feminine Mistake, Leslie Bennetts says working mothers are less likely to struggle with depression than stay at home moms. Are moms with jobs or careers healthier?

Working mothers may be less depressed than stay at home moms, says author and career woman Leslie Bennetts. Working moms may also have better physical health, higher self-esteem, and increased emotional health.

For some women, deciding to be a working mom (have a job outside the home) was a tough choice to make. Other women, however, gain a great deal from going back to work – especially moms who work from home. And still other women have to work to pay the bills and support their families.

Leslie Bennetts, author of The Feminine Mistake, shares so many benefits of working mothers that it seems to be a mistake to be a stay at home mom! Bennetts' arguments are convincing – but every woman must weigh her own pros and cons of getting a job outside the home. Factors such as financial situation, children's age, work availability, partner support, work passion and health all play a role in the decision to be working mom or stay-at-home mother.

Not all working women experience the same physical and emotional health benefits, such as less depression and anxiety.

The benefits of being a working mom change depending on profession, interests, and values. For instance, if you're passionate about being and educated as a teacher you may reap more rewards than if you work at the local convenience store, shopping mall, or factory. Moms working from home who can set their hours and choose the type of work they do are in an ideal – and rare – situation.

Working Moms Are More Independent, Happier, and Less Depressed

"As the survey of gifted women indicates, many simply feel that being a homemaker fails to utilize the full range of their capabilities," writes Bennetts. Working moms feel like they're using all their gifts, talents, and abilities in a more useful capacity than stay at home moms. Intellectual stimulation, problem solving, and handling challenges increase feelings of self-esteem and self-confidence.

Working moms have their own financial income, which offers independence, freedom, and security. Moms with careers can make their own decisions about money and purchases; they know how their money is spent. There's a sense of satisfaction in being a working mom, as well as the economic ability to take care of themselves if the marriage or husband's health fails.

Working Moms Are Strong Role Models

Role modeling a successful, happy life as a working mom can benefit both boys and girls. If mom is happy and challenged in her life, she's more likely to encourage a happy and challenging life for her kids.

Working Moms Have Happier Marriages

Reducing the financial pressure on the working partner is a benefit of working moms. Single income families may have a hard time making ends meet; working moms may ease the burden.

Working moms may be more interested and involved in the "outside world", which makes them more interesting to talk to. Living a full, balanced life can lead to a happier marriage because a job or career outside the home can encourage a sense of equality.

Working Moms Are Physically Healthier Than Stay at Home Moms

"Employed women are healthier than their homemaker peers, despite the pressure of added responsibilities. They have lower blood pressure, lower cholesterol levels, and lower weight," writes Dr. Anna Fels in The Feminine Mistake. "Few facts are as well-documented as the good physical and emotional health of women on the job….Psychologically, working women have less depression than their domestic counterparts, and they have, astonishingly, been reported to have less anxiety."

Working Moms Enjoy Increased Social Support

Work can be a strong support network in times of crisis. With the right employer and colleagues, working moms can lean on their coworkers when facing death, illness, or other unexpected challenges. Many friendships start at work and grow stronger over the years.

"In comparison with such benefits, the sacrifices required by the juggling act ultimately seem negligible to many working women," says Bennetts in The Feminine Mistake.

Every woman's situation is different, but many working mothers seem to enjoy more benefits than stay at home moms.

Comments

Apr 30, 2008 12:40 AM

Hayley Nichols :

This is an interesting article. It got me thinking about why it is that working mothers could be less depressed. The role of mother certainly does involve challenges and problem-solving, but I think the trouble is Western society doesn't value motherhood as a job or vocation in and of itself. In a culture that values independence, money and consumerism above relationships and family, is it any wonder a stay-at-home mother may be more vulnerable to depression? Also, and crucially, any consideration of benefits to mothers has to be balanced with that of the effects on children of daycare - as you say, working from home is ideal, but not possible for most women. There is a large body of research pointing strongly to the fact that daycare for children under three is not advisable in terms of their long-term emotional health. See 'Affluenza' by Oliver James for a good summary of this. I enjoyed reading your article, but just wanted to point out the other side. Thanks!

Feb 16, 2009 12:33 PM

Guest :

I am a working mother, I am in the military as a matter of fact. I wanted to point out that I do not work just to have more money in my pocket. I work because my mother was a SAHM and she was miserable all of the time. She would often get in fits of depression saying she gave up everything for her kids, a good education in college and a managerial position at a factory, just so they could grow up and leave her. I knew then that I would be a working mother. I work because I am intelligent and know I have more to offer the world. I work because I am individual with ideas, creativity, and self-worth outside of my role as a mother. I will not be defined by one simple title whether that is woman or mother. I am more complex than that.

Apr 7, 2009 8:04 AM

Guest :

This is an good idea >>
so; we should look for this points ..
I mean working mother because it is an important thing ..

Apr 9, 2009 2:38 PM

Guest :

"Working moms may be more interested and involved in the "outside world", which makes them more interesting to talk to. Living a full, balanced life can lead to a happier marriage. Working moms bring a sense of equality to the marriage."
Are you kidding me? Seriously? As a SAHM with her master's in clinical psychology and soon to have her Ph.D., I simply can't believe the author didn't recognize how seriously biased and degrading her written words are to stay-at-home mothers! But I guess I shouldn't speak, because obviously my words are likely boring and unworldly. Please excuse the sarcasm, but maybe SAHM's have more depression because their role and work is no longer respected and accepted in our society as reflected in this article. Women are happy when they make choices that fit for them whether that be working outside the home or being a SAHM or some combination. It is a disservice we are doing future generations of young women by trying to tell them what they need to do instead of letting them making the chioce for themselves and then respecting and supporting those choices.

Oct 31, 2009 11:11 AM

Guest :

I'm a SAHM and am indeed depressed. My husband and I chose to have this lifestyle so our daughter could benefit but its not faring so well for me. She's nearly four now and is a happy child but I am empty inside, I have no satisfaction that is directly for me -everything is for her, my husband and the household. I have nothing to show for it otherwise, no paycheck, no recognition. My friends all work and being a SAHM is somewhat antiquated so it puts me in an old-fashioned type of category, where I'm out of touch with the modern world. Its very isolating.

Nov 4, 2009 9:53 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

Your comment about depression as a stay at home mom spurred me to write an article called “Depression Help for Stay at Home Moms.”

I can’t post the link here, but if you want to read it, Google “Depression Help for Stay at Home Moms, How to Stop Feeling Depressed Suite101.” It should be near or at the top of the page.

I hope it helps, and that you find ways to overcome your feelings of isolation.

Best wishes,
Laurie

Sep 22, 2010 12:36 AM

Guest :

I, too, found this article patronizing and biased. Some of us choose to stay at home because we believe it is the best thing for our children. Contrary to some opinions expressed here, I do not need a paycheck to validate my life or worth as a person. I have interests and skills and can still be creative and explore new interests. I have good friends and supportive family. I count myself lucky to have had the honour to be the number one person in my children's lives in those most important pre-school years.I think that we, as women, should stop trying to justify our decisions and prove that we are more than JUST mothers, or better for being SAHMs than our working sisters. It is all about our right to choose what is best for us and our families, and my personal opinion is that there is no job in the world more important than raising children, however you wish to do it.

Sep 22, 2010 8:31 AM

Guest :

How bizarre that the notion of working moms equals duel income family in this article. Pretty telling that the notion of the mother at work while the father cares for the children full-time isn't even registered as a viable option. Short-sited, incomplete, and seemingly deliberately so.

Aug 23, 2011 4:33 PM

Guest :

I don't agree with the article at all. I am a stay at home mom. I enjoy every minute of it. I do not regret not going to work. I am poor, but some things are more important than money. I do without and buy within my means. God is first and foremost support, followed by my family, and some other stay at home moms. My most important job is at home. I honestly feel that there are many women whom wish that they can stay at home with their children but feel that they can't. I have actually heard studies that suggest that women who go to work are more likely to be depressed. They feel guilt for going back to work. There is a lot of support for working moms, but the support is not enough to overcome the guilt that working moms feel. They often regret their decision to go back to work later on in life (as they feel they pay for it -financially plus other ways as well).

Feb 2, 2012 12:38 PM

Guest :

The problem I've found as a SAHM of a three year old (keep in mind I was a career woman for 15 years after college -did not even get married until I was 37)...is that society does not approve of one being a SAHM anymore. That is why those of us who have chosen this path feel so awful. We are looked down upon and it is a result of society valuing (in most cases -not for those that need the money to survive or are single parents) more stuff over time with children.

Feb 10, 2012 10:25 PM

Guest :

I am a SAHM, and I work a couple of evenings a week teaching piano from my home. Some of the mothers that I have come in contact with that stay at home tend to feel resentful or unappreciated. However, they continue to stay at home because obviously, it is where they want to be, and they are overall very content with their lives. I have also come in contact with mothers who work full time who also have specific challenges with feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by the time they get home from work. Other working moms I know are glowing with cheerfulness as they pick up their children from school, and I can see that they are happy and energetic. It is definitely a problem how SAHM's are no longer respected fully in this society anymore. I sometimes receive a critical tone from people when I say I stay at home. It's a tone that can make me feel like I'm not doing enough, if I let the comment get the best of me. I think as women, we all need to come together and realize that what works best for one, may not work best for the other. Neither way should be considered better, as it is not a competition or clear cut formula for happiness. Let's celebrate that we can make the choice, and love and support one another. Our children will benefit most from a choice that fits what is best for ourselves, and the family unit as a whole. Peace.

Feb 27, 2012 7:34 PM

Guest :

The person who wrote this article must of gotten payed a hefty check by the big corporate slave-driving companies that don't give a sh*t about families or mothers who have to make the sacrifice of dropping off their children to some stranger at a daycare institution where there is a chance the kids are miserable or worst.
I was lucky I got to take care of my daughter for her first five years while I went to college and my husband worked full time. My house was in order, I knew where everything was in the kitchen I was a full time mom and housewife part time student. Back in those days, when I was in my twenties I too got brainwashed by corporate America telling me that as a woman I can have it all career, family and juggle it all. What they don't tell you is that once you enter the corporate world you go to work and face sharks and have to fend yourself against those sharks. Then, you go home after you pick up your kid from daycare and it's 6pm you still have to cook dinner then clean up then if youre lucky you get 6 hours of sleep. By the time I was 35 I was tired, I started to neglet my diet, my exersise, my health. Why? because I'm a woman hear me roar I am juggling a full time career and family and home chores. Roaarrr!!! BULLSH**T!!! By the time I was 36 I was looking 46! A woman who once got carded everywhere she went I was now looking like an OLD TIRED HAG!! I HATED MY LIFE!! I HATED MYSELF!!! I WANTED TO WRECK MY CAR EVERY MORNING TO AVOID GOING TO WORK!!!! But, yet I continued to lie to myself!!! Finally I started to call out from work for stupid reasons went on a stress leave. My prayers where finally answered when my job layed off 2000 people and I was one of the lucky ones and right at that time my husband received a large inheritance. Long story short my husband (who also was tired of being a wage slave) opened up two internet businesses and I assist him with updating the websites, but he runs the show (hires employees oversees the wharehouse ect) I became a happy housewife, by this time our daughter was a teenager and I like the fact that I am home so that I know who her friends are and what she is doing. Do I miss office politics? Office gossip? Having to wake up early to rush to work at 8am after I only got 4 hours sleep because I had to clean the kitchent the night before and have to rush to work eating a bag of popcorn because I didnt have the time to eat breakfast and not work out for like ever because I'm always on the go go go?? HELL NOOO!!! Now I get to sleep until I feel like it, I get to eat a leisurey breakfast, I get to go shopping, I get to clean my house the way I want it and If I want to I get to take a nap if I'm tired, I also get to go to they gym, my belly dancing, class, I surf I run my house, bills, cleaning, cooking ect all without some b**tch boss telling me when to jump I NEVER BEEN THIS HAPPY!! And the best part people I used to work with that have seen me a year later say I look younger and rested and good!!! So for all those poor women out there who are lying to themselves thinking they are happier while living in a rush, on the go, juggling career and home, dropping off their kids at daycare with some stranger while they rush to work w/out breakfast after they slept 4 hours because they had a pile of laundry and kitchen to clean the night before they can keep telling themselves they are fullfilled because the Nile is a big river in Egypt.
Happy Spoiled Trophy Wife

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