Sometimes finding the perfect lover -- a soulmate -- is about being lucky. And sometimes love is about our romantic built-in preferences or interpersonal chemistry. Here’s what scientific research shows about why we fall in love and who we fall in love with (it's time for some love psychology!).
5 Scientific Factors That Influence Love Chemistry and Romance
Finding your perfect love match may be less confusing and frustrating if you know why we fall in love.
1. Females have clear preferences for certain male body odors. Women are more sensitive to the smell of pheromones than men. For evolutionary reasons, both men and women have learned to be attracted to lovers with different immune systems than our own.
“A complicating factor is that women on the birth control pill prefer men with similar [immune system odors]. So, when a woman who is on the pill unwittingly falls in love with a partner with the same [immune system odors], marries, then goes off the pill when conception no longer needs to be avoided, she will wonder how she got attracted to the smelly partner beside her,” writes Dr Pierce J. Howard in The Owner’s Manual of the Brain.
2. Our image of our perfect lover is established by age 10. Galdino Pranzarone is a psychologist in Virginia who realized that our goals for romance may be set before we turn ten years old. According to him, the science of finding a soulmate depends on influences that affect us before our teenage years!
3. There are no love potions or aphrodisiacs. Other than prescription medication, there are no love potions or aphrodisiacs in foods or herbs, says Dr Pranzorone. An aphrodisiac is supposed to arouse libido or intimate activity, but Dr Pranzorone says that any libido-enhancing effects of natural herbs or foods may be a placebo effect.
3. Men prefer beautiful women. To learn about romance, chemistry and why people fall in love, scientists lead by David Buss polled over 10,000 men and women in 33 countries. They found that men prefer women who were physically beautiful and youthful, over women with high financial earning potentials. Why we fall in love - the science of the soulmate - is influenced by factors that may not be politically correct.
4. Women prefer men who earn good money. The same anthropologists and sociologists in the above study found that women are attracted to men who have a good earning capacity. When looking for a romantic relationship, women prefer security and ambition over physical attractiveness.
5. Both men and women are attracted to physical symmetry. Our romantic built-in preferences about ideal love matches include physical symmetry. Symmetry is associated with beauty – plus there are several evolutionary advantages to physical symmetry. Research shows that men with physical symmetry have more sperm, more partners, and more extramarital affairs. Women with physical symmetry have more orgasms. Both men and women with physical symmetry have stronger immune systems. The science of the perfect lover (and great romantic relationships!) is connected to the symmetry of our bodies.
If you think finding the perfect lover is all about luck, you may want to think twice. Your romantic built-in preferences may guide your choices in romance more than you think.
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Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen is a full-time writer and blogger in Vancouver, BC, and the creator of the Quips and Tips blog series.
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