Signs of a Womanizer - His Personality Traits

Personality Traits of Casanovas Who Are Hooked on the Hunt

Nov 23, 2007
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Signs of a Womanizer - Personality Traits - sxc Scyza

Recognizing the personality traits of a womanizer, Casanova, lothario or tom cat will help protect you from men who use women. No more addictive love relationships!

Womanizers have certain personality traits, which are easy to spot when you know what you're looking for! The sooner you recognize the signs of a womanizer, the better able you are to protect yourself from addictive love and men who use women.

The word “Casanova” evolved from an Italian womanizer who had over a hundred one night stands. Casanova was a lady killer from Venice; he would wine and dine women, charm them, make them feel beautiful and irresistible, take them to bed, and … move on to the next woman the next day.

Casanovas are also known as womanizers, lotharios, tom cats, lady killers, seducers, predators and players. Many womanizers have a “line” for picking up women; they have a whole strategy from start to finish. After you learn how to recognize a womanizer, you'll see through his facade.

The personality traits of womanizers make them easy to recognize.

Womanizers are master manipulators. Though the words “Casanova”, “tom cat”, “womanizer”, “lothario” and “seducer” may seem flirty and flattering, the behavior of lady killers is far from innocent. The sooner you learn to recognize a womanizer, the better off you'll be! But remember: there's a difference between being a womanizer and being a man who lies about cheating or having affairs.

The Personality Traits of a Womanizer

Womanizers are charming. They’re attentive, interested, curious – and they make women feel special. Womanizers have one goal: to get a woman into bed as quickly as possible and then move on to the next one. They’re seducers who are addicted to the "power" they feel when seducing women. This is one way to recognize a womanizer: they're addicted to the chase and challenge of love.

Womanizers are often in touch with women’s feelings, and can adeptly manipulate those feelings to their advantage. For instance, a womanizer will express empathy for a woman’s professional or personal problems, and let the woman vent her feelings. Once she feels comfortable and relaxed with the lady killer, he’ll make his move.

Womanizers are good at what they do. They're addicted to a certain type of love (not the healthy kind!).

How to Recognize a Womanizer - The Inner Workings of a Casanova

Some psychologists believe womanizers or Casanovas struggle with low self-esteem, and their sexual conquests make them feel better about themselves. It’s a temporary high, though. Womanizers may have unstable or nonexistent relationships with father figures – especially in early childhood – which makes them insecure about who they are. Knowing this will help you recognize a womanizer.

“Casanovas tend to exhibit some traits associated with psychopathy,” says Robert Hare, author of "Without Conscience" in Psychology Today (“The Lady Killer Files”, November December 2007). Womanizers may have to manipulate and deceive women to get what they want, and they may ignore guilty feelings – or they may not feel any guilt at all. This, too, will help you recognize a womanizer.

Womanizers tend to sleep with inappropriate partners, flirt with their friends’ wives, and have secrets about their romantic lives. Many lady killers are addicted to sleeping around with different women, but don’t find their sexual conquests fulfilling in the long term.

Recognizing a Womanizer Means Resisting a Womanizer

When you think you've met a Casanova or womaizer and you don't want to be another notch in his bed post, don't let yourself be manipulated into bed. A womanizer will give you the cold shoulder just as quickly as he'll wine and dine you. You need to decide what you want out of a healthy love relationship, and stand firm.

Most womanizers aren't good candidates for long-term relationships. If you're looking for a healthy love relationship, you need to not only recognize a womanizer -- you need to look past him.

One of the best ways to recognize and resist a womanizer is to be aware of the secrets men keep from women.

Related Reading on Sex and Love in Psychology

7 Signs of Addictive Relationships describes how to overcome addictive love.

How to Make Love Last in Long-Term Relationships describes how to stay intimate, and improve your love life.

For a full list of articles about sex and love, read Creating Healthy Sexual Intimacy in Love.

Laurie Pawlik Kienlen, Psychology Feature Writer, Bruce Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen is a full-time writer and blogger in Vancouver, BC, and the creator of the Quips and Tips blog series.

How to Recognize a Womanizer - sxc champion73

Addictive Love Isn't a Healthy Love Relationship - sxc Ambrozio

Personality Traits of a Womanizer - sxc Marinela

Womanizers Don't Offer Healthy Love Relationships - sxc fangol

Comments

Oct 22, 2008 9:04 AM

Guest :

I love it! Isn't that what all guys do?

Oct 24, 2008 8:57 PM

Guest :

I work with a womanizer except he has a wife and he is already a granfather. Stupid me I fell for him and work with him. Now he has started gossip about me and we have not even slept togahter.

Oct 24, 2008 8:59 PM

Guest :

I think latino are the worst..........

Oct 31, 2008 7:59 AM

Guest :

Sounds like my new husband for sure. What a fool I've been to believe
he really cared. I knew my feelings to run in the other direction
as fast as I could where warranted. One year and I've had atleast 20
women thrown in my face in some form or fashion. All of course are
his " friends" and women who needed his help in some way. In his words
I am just insecure and jealous and need to grow up. This definition
fits my husband to a tee. I am his third wife. I am the youngest wife
he's had. I am also the one who has not been Ok with his deceptive
and disrespectful behavior. Amazing how he tries to make this my issue. It will only be my issue if I decide to stay and put up with
his mess. I encourage all who read this. If you see you in my story
then do what I do. Move on and up out of this dead situation with
the quickness!! You are Worth more than someone like this for sure.
I know that I am. One year of hell is where I have been. One year
of constant humiliation and harrassment from a person who did not love
himself or me from the very beginning. It's not my problem. It's his.
I plan to get the help I might need to break away from this emotionally. What I will not do is blame myself for getting
involved with him. I will not hate myself for marrying him.
I will not hate myself for being faithful in this marriage while
he was making a fool of me and himself. I will simply say. Be
ware next time. Lord help the men who seek and prey over women
like this to conquer them. You really are sick individuals who
need intense council and help. God bless the woman who has children
with such a man. She really does have to be with his nasty behind for
life. I am so very blessed. I have nothing with him. I still have all
of my things in my name. I still have my job, home, and car and life
outside of him. I guess I was not as much a fool as I could have been. He claims he is a man of full integrity. He claims he is just friendly and cares about people. He claims he is really in love with me. He says he feels so hurt and torn over my confrontation. I say he is stil a lieng piece of waist. All will come forth in time for sure.

Nov 17, 2008 12:06 PM

Guest :

this is a great article that alot of women should read its depicts what an womanizer is and his characteristics!!!

Nov 19, 2008 9:51 PM

Guest :

This is the most retarted article i've ever read. Ladies, if you think that a guy being nice and charming and romantic means he is a womenizer, then you are going to be lonely for the rest of your life.
"Womanizers are charming. They’re attentive, interested, curious – and they make women feel special. " So in other words, find someone who makes you feel like crap? This makes sense.... NOT!

Dec 6, 2008 9:44 AM

Guest :

I agree with your description of a "womanizer" to a degree, the problem is that it does nothing toward giving us a way to discriminate between what a womanizer is doing, and what some guy who is genuinely trying to start a lasting, loving, relationship with a woman. In other words, based on your description, we can know a "womanizer", only after the fact. A lot of guys start out just the way a womanizer does when they are attracted to a woman they'd like to get to know and explore a relationship with. Sometimes in that process, sex comes earler, rather than later, but just because it does, I don't believe we should label the guy a "womanizer" and check him off the list of possible candidates to explore further with.

Dec 6, 2008 9:51 AM

Guest :

Dec 11, 2008 2:53 AM

Guest :

wow some mixed comments here. great story keep up the positive attitude your rite in what you are saying :) jst be curious about some so called friends in any case, but you do seem wise. girls be careful when falling for womanizers cos once they get what they want there gone leaving you hurt. even thow i do like to make women feel special (not always sexual)i never intend to leave ppl feeling torn. there is jst so many things you can say and relate to what people have been threw in relationships REMEMBER TO BE SAFE! some men will make up anything to get what they want. Not all men are like this and women can can be jst as bad.

Dec 14, 2008 6:52 PM

Guest :

It is a very good article. Everything stated by the experts are 100% correct.

Dec 14, 2008 9:17 PM

Guest :

This article really helps.I've been to a womanizer,he promise me everything and make me believe that he loves me. I followed what he said knowing that he will be a good provider. He wanted to have a child with me.After loosing my career and having a big belly. He left telling me that things won't work out. Now I am starting my new life back to zero. I just feel sad and hoping that my child will not adopt he's attitude.

Dec 14, 2008 9:18 PM

Guest :

Dec 22, 2008 1:38 PM

Guest :

I am a momas boy. I have been married 3 times. My girlfreind thinks I might be a womanizer, so here I am to find out what that means. Even tho I have alot in comman with a womanizer im not one. My first wife of 12yrs was cheating on me, my 10yr old daughter caught her. My second wife and I are still freinds. My third wife was cheating on me from day one, we were only married 1yr. I am a one woman man, but I do like to flirt. I am true and a man of honor. I am 42 and hope to find a woman who can be with me until the end. Yea I guess im a womanizer I just dont belive in sleeping around. Thanks for the Info

Jan 7, 2009 11:46 AM

Guest :

My boyfriend of 5 years was a womanizer when I met him and yet I believed him when he said he wanted to change. Not every flirtation leads to sex, but it doesn't need to... the womanizer likes the attention and the chase. The difference between a healthy friendly man and a womanizer? The womanizer always lies and keeps secrets. The healthy man's women know about one another and there are no secrets.

Jan 13, 2009 4:26 PM

Guest :

Hooked on the hunt?!? I wonder how many genuine relationships this article prevented... Don't all guys appear as womanizer initially?

Jan 14, 2009 2:54 PM

Guest :

im leaving with one, we r together for 8 years and we have two bouncing baby boys when ever a new woman is in a picture i want to up and go but its not easy to take away our k ids from their father. I always stay for their sake. I can raise them alone but i came from a broken family myself n i know the pain of it. But i feel like getting a boy friend and have a secret of my own, will i be wrong?

Jan 17, 2009 8:22 PM

Guest :

Admittedly I am, in fact, a womanizer. I find articles like this most disturbing, because I think that women raising their defenses against womanizers, such as myself, are forcing themselves into a state of denial of their most primitive needs. The reason why we can be what we are is that we know exactly what the women we approach want. Given that we usually leave them afterwards, we still provide more benefits than detriments. How you ask? How many women out there long for a strong, confident man who can please them in ways they fantasize about? Make them feel wanted, beautiful, and reaffirm their self-confidence? We provide all these services plus more. For this reason I think it's unfair to put all womanizers into the same "boat" so to speak. Personally, I still speak with all the women I've been with from time to time, and they have no hard feelings because I took the time to explain myself after the thrill faded. The insinuation of this article is that we always give the cold shoulder when we finish, this isn't necessarily true for all of us. I would appreciate it if those of you reading this article, especially the women that feel strongly enough to post one simple fact. The women I've been with have all been beautiful to me and I appreciate them all for the time that they were with me; I couldn't stay with them, because I wasn't able to maintain the level of detail and care that I had set as a standard for myself, and I had a strong, uncontrollable urge to move on and experience new things. I will admit that there are bad womanizers out there. I don't feel I'm one of them. I still contest that we not all of us should be avoided, because we only exist to serve the lot of you; and make the time you have with us special. You should want to find us and be with us. My advice to you is different from the that in this article. I say, yes, you should be able to identify a womanizer, but rather than avoid us; you should understand that our time together is fleeting. Enjoy it while it lasts and be ready to move on emotionally when that time together expires and you will appreciate us for what we can give, just like we appreciate you enough to get such a deep understanding that we're able to provide exactly what you want. Thanks for reading.

Jan 23, 2009 2:28 PM

Guest :

How to Recognize a Womanizer: The Inner Workings of a Don Juan
"Womanizers may have unstable or nonexistent relationships with father figures – especially in early childhood – which makes them insecure about who they are." This will put 99% of the male population here since MOST males have been damage by their fathers in one way or another. Fortunately NOT all males are womanizers as this article would like you to believe. Those that seems to think that all males are womanizers are the one that have been a victim and feel they need to be avenge so they becomes males haters. Actually it's really easy to spot a womanizers, the smooth talkers, the one that knows exactly what to say, the one that seems to know all the right moves to make you feel comfortable and non threaten. They are the ONE you are MOST ATTRACTED TO -- because they are so Smooth they are Hot or coolest guys you have ever met. NOn-womanizer are the one that suffer for communication disfunction, the nerds, the geeks, the clumsy oaf, the goofy acting or looking, they are the most Uncoolest looking bunch! I mean who want to date them Unless they GOT MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!
Women seem to fall for the wrong guys why? Because they are the victims of their own desires (that is they want a guy that understand them, empathizes with them, they want the guys that are smooth, they want a guys that knows exactly what to say or do etc) Unfortunately guys aren't Naturally wired like girls. It takes practices and lots of it for a guy to be a womanizers. Look for guys that have total perfection, total confidences in himself to help ease your worries away then you will find your Womanizer =)

Jan 28, 2009 11:39 AM

Guest :

I met this very attractive man, and a firefighter in very good shape, I was very attracted to him and him to me. One day , he texted me on the phone and said he was horny?!!! Now is it me, or is this a man who is falling all over himself. I don't have easy painted on my forhead, so what the hell. The psychology behind this has got to be interesing, is it the hunt, this guy did not even wine me and dine me but just assumed because he was a good looking firefighter I would meet him for sex. Comments Welcome

Feb 12, 2009 12:09 PM

Guest :

The girl who met the firefighter....STAY AWAY! Sounds like 2 guys I have known. I am married and have a kid...I have been having problems in my marriage...I met this guy who by the way works at a firestation. He started out as a friend and the attraction grew. It was not a sexual attraction..he paid lots of attention to me and my kid at a time that my husband was not... That made me feel very good. But the feelings grew and like the article, he began to play on my emotions and played sympathy for the problems I was having. We would talk and text on the phone and when we saw each other, we'd flirt and say things. Then he would get in this "conviction mode" and say that he didn't want to have anything else to do with me that I was married and it was wrong. I'd let it go and then about 3 days later it was right back to square one....saying sweet nothings....Things that he knew I wanted to hear. This back and forth phone/text romance went on for months. Then the big bomb dropped and we started getting phone calls that he was seen with other "married women"...Come to find out, he had 3 other women he was doing the same thing with. Now that his back is in the corner, he is telling everyone that it was all me and that he had nothing to do with it at all! What a liar! Guys like this are jerks and they don't care that they play with peoples lives and emotions. Girl, stay away from this firefighter....he is baddddd news!

Feb 18, 2009 5:33 PM

Guest :

How do you break a womanizer... How do you make him fall in love with you!

Feb 19, 2009 5:35 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I'm not sure you can make ANYONE - much less a womanizer - fall in love with you!

Feb 20, 2009 1:35 AM

Guest :

My comment is in response to the womanizer from January 19, 2009. Perhaps if you explained your intentions upfront instead of after the fact some of your conquests could at least avoid your advances. But, of course that wouldn't be in your best interest would it? Of course, you are good at what you do because that's all you do. I've experienced what I thought was a great love, the love of my life, and it is now coming to an end. Yes, I did experience great pleasure and he made me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet. What does that do for me now? Now, that I can't expect that from a normal honest man. I do not have hard feelings for my womanizer but I do pity him. He's probably quite happy to move onto the next unsuspecting woman but it's still really sad to me.

Feb 22, 2009 1:23 AM

puppyshy :

I disagree with how most sources define womanizer and here is why:

The two types of Womanizers are (1). Men who naturally (that is the key word) have an appeal to woman because of their natural intelligence, style, charm, charisma, and good looks. These men do not in anyway have to pursue women, as many women are attracted to the Womanizer naturally. Many so called womanizers do stay loyal in relationships and because of their unique qualities, find monogamous relationships attractive and preferable. The drawback to this type of "Womanizer" is that he is many times categorized with the second and most common class of "Womanizers". (2). This is a class of men who normally have very low self-esteem , oversized egos, and little respect for women. The difference in identifying this type of womanizer is by the reason he is referred to as such. For instance, a woman may see a man who does not have style, yet he pursues women like a pig. These types of womanizers though are generally referred to by other names such as Perverts, Pigs, Male Chauvinist

"I love my Mother, and growing up and all my life she would notice how women would flock to me, and literally fall to my feet, (from when I was a baby) this had nothing to do with my conscious intent of attracting women of all ages. I am just a very charismatic individual, who is multi-talented, naturally sensitive, somewhat faminine, and of genius intellegence. The only reason I state these facts is for the purpose of understanding that some men actually have a natural ability to attract both sexes (and are typically referred to as Womanizers)." -A Serial Womanizer of the Natural Kind

Mar 6, 2009 11:06 PM

Guest :

No all guys do not do that. Some guys are really just womanizers and they can't help themselves. They have no conscience whatsoever. They are sociopaths I think. I met one last year and I fell in love with him because he pretended to be sweet and sensitive and looking for commitment. He only wanted to use me. I made a huge mistake but now I feel sorry for him and the other women he has used. He really is a very damaged individual. He will never find happiness. He is a faithless, callous, jaded loser. I feel sorry for the women he will hurt in the future. There are websites that warn women though. Go to www.womansavers.com and report your womanizer. Try to keep someone else from feeling the pain you feel. They never change...unless they have a huge religious experience.

Mar 12, 2009 1:33 PM

Guest :

wow , I haven't dated a woman in 7 yrs since my divorce . I have ran the oppsite direction when they started getting to close to me. I was married 24 years. I have wanted to just have a friendship no sex involved with a woman but it seems that the way it seems to start heading and thats when I run. My daughter said that I lead them on by being to nice and they get the wrong signal. My daughter said I was a womanizer . Never was intimate with anyone of them and made sure they were aware of where I stood. I hope I didn't do that I don't want to hurt anyone. Still single.....Maybe it's the commitment I don't want or the fear of starting over again. Who knows ....God I need help here .

Mar 13, 2009 3:16 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Help is available -- but you need to seek it out! I'm not sure what counseling resources are available in your area or workplace, but I suggest contacting someone to help you figure out what's going on. Even if you choose not to be involved in an intimate relationship, it's good to make sure you're emotionally healthy and not hurting the women you're in contact with.

Apr 7, 2009 3:09 PM

Guest :

This is to the lady who also met a guy at a firestation and found attraction. I just have to question your character. Just because your husband doesn't give you as much attention as he did before you have to look for it elsewhere?? How insecure are you?

Apr 15, 2009 12:20 PM

Guest :

The word "Casanova" did come from the famous adventurer not for his promiscuity but for his reputation as the greatest lover in history. He did not just have one night stands, and if you actually average out the amount of women he slept with he had about four women a year, because he genuinely fell in love with almost every girl he seduced in his life.

Apr 29, 2009 3:00 PM

Guest :

Mmmm yes i too fall for a womanizer,we were in a relationship for nearly two years he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, until i fell pregnant wow how things changed,he left me cos i wouldnt have abortion.. My baby is 5 months old now he takes her twice a week,but as time goes on i see i was so blinded,i no he cheatin with everyone n anyone exs you name it..I felt a fool,i no hes still jumpin in and out of beds,he did it with me after i got myself back to myself after birth,stupid me fell again..Now i dont speck to him i dont let him in my home,he takes my daughter twice aweek and keeps a bit of a relationship with my son as he is not my sons Dad.Talk is cheap remember that all women,once you hear sweetheart,darlin,sugarplum believe me its bull hes used to speckin like that they suck you in and blow you back out in bubbles,if you no what i mean..You want to beat the womenizer play him do what he does think about it, it does work but you need to keep the gard up or he'll get you and you wont like how you feel afterwards..

May 2, 2009 7:28 AM

Guest :

A sizeable number of womanizers are married. So, in addition to the ego boost and power dynamic, they are leading a double life. Even being around an individual of this ilk sounds exhausting...and not authentic.

May 18, 2009 10:28 AM

Guest :

I've been dating this guy for the past 8 months, and he turned out to be the worst experience of my life. In fact, I wish I never met him at all, I didn't realize that men like that exist. In the beginning, he was so sweet and nice to me, leading me to believe that he is looking for something serious, but after a while I realized that he is probably seeing other women. But I guess I was in denial, or hoped he would change. He said he really cares about me, but all of my suspisions came true when I found a woman's underwear at his place. She probably knew she was not the only one either, so she left it on purpose.
I know that it probably seems that I am weak and naive for believing such a guy in the first place, but I genuinly thought he had good intentions. He also is very good looking, and somehow women just throw themselves at him. The problem is that I fell in love with him, and now don't know how to move on. I feel that I will not be able to trust any man anymore. Any advice would be appreciated.

May 21, 2009 3:24 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I'm sorry you fell in love with him -- it's a very hard thing to get over! Heartbreak hurts.

It takes time to get over a betrayal like this, so don't think that you'll never be able to trust again! You WILL love again and trust again...and you'll be a little wiser and more mature. Be careful not to paint all men with this brush of infidelity. Not all men are womanizers -- and there are ways to spot them.

One of the most important things to do is go SLOWLY in new relationships. Womanizers tend to move fast, not giving women time to think. I know you were with your boyfriend for 8 months....and I'm curious if your relationship was speedy?

Everything will be all right...and you'll be happy again!

Wishing you all the best,
Laurie

May 29, 2009 7:45 PM

Guest :

No, this isn't what 'all guys' do, and not only men act this way at that, quite honestly for some time i was a 'player' so to speak and yes a great deal of it can be attributed to insecurity.
The clinical definition of the term 'player' did not used to be someone who would flaunt their ability to seduce a women then her attractive mother, but instead was someone who had a hole of a heart, empty inside that must find as many people to love them as possible in order to fill fulfilled.
This was the type i was, and at a certain point i had at the least 20 girlfriends at one time, and yes there was a great deal of guilt; finding you dug yourself in to a hole you can only climb out of by stepping on the many hearts you collected on the way is one of the most abominable feelings I've ever endured, not that i didn't deserve it.
Through some miracle, eventually these relationships mostly tapered out and mostly through mutual break ups over various reasons, this did not diminish the guilt, but it was some comfort to know that they did not feel as bad as they would have, had i been as callus as some men can be about blowing women off.
And frankly, its a on going battle that does not dissipate with the decision to stop doing these things, subconsciously these things will sometimes continue to happen and it can be difficult to resist when noticed.
Being desired is a intoxicating feeling, as is the control that one can use it for, not that no women can understand this; their are women out there who will pretend to be interested in a man for the flattering feeling of how much he will spend and how far he will go to try to make her want him.
I am still unsure as to how exactly this does come to pass for male 'players', yes i did have a bad childhood with father-figures and was molested by my pre-k teacher, which i had repressed fro some time until i was a young adult; when i first broke down and cried about this to my mother, she got me in to therapy but soon after decided that i was making it up for attention and sympathy, so that she would not have to feel guilty for thinking that she was to consumed by her own despair at marrying a abusive drunk to notice the signs.
For me though the feelings of affections for these girls was real, which caused my guilt at how unfair was being to them and their desire to be the only women in a mans life.
I would not recommend that you try to fix these men, its only something they can do only if they wish to.
Sincerely, Michael.

May 29, 2009 10:28 PM

Guest :

In response to the post of Jan 17, 2009 8:22 PM, decent women do not simply want to be sexually desirable nor only fulfilled sexually.
They want to be valued, respected, appreciated, loved, and cherished.
Women do not want you to listen to them to try to get them in to bed, they want you to genuinely care about their feelings, desires, wishes and dreams and value their opinions.
You may think that you are 'providing' a 'valuable service', but soon enough you will be to old and worn out to seduce anything.
And you will be alone, with no one to love you; no one to manipulate, nothing to make you feel like more of a man, because you aren't one.
A man marries the women he loves, and will put her own wishes before his own, as long as their reasonable.
You may get a kick out of ruining a mans life by seducing his wife and leaving her with nothing but the memory of the man that ruined her life, and walk with a swagger thinking you made her see god, may it last as long as it can before you're world becomes as dark as you're heart.
You can say that you value them and appreciate the time they've given you but i doubt that you could remember a fraction of their names and if you can you're probably wrong about which woman's name it is.
And soon these memories will fade in to shadow and there will be nothing left.
It is sad to think how many women fall prey to these kinds of situations because they think it you're Mr. Right, or that it is the best they can get, or sadder still, all that they deserve.
Even though you may think you are bringing romance in to their lives, once the truth of you're actions are seen the only one to be foolish enough to think of these times as romantic to these women is you.
I hope that womanizers who read this, if it is approved, will realize that no matter how skilled you may be, talents fade over time along with looks and therefore charm; not to mention sexual functions.
If you truly want and need love, find a nice women, admit you're faults and pray that her heart is big enough to forgive, forget, and trust in you; get married and thank her for any children you may be blessed to receive as a couple and learn to control you're urges to flirt in order to receive affection from women you do not deserve it from.
Sincerely, Michael.

Jun 19, 2009 6:05 PM

Guest :

HELP!!!!!! I am reading this and my heart is beating out of my chest. I am a christian women married to a womenizer and to ad insult to injury he is using the bible to do it.. I found him emailing other women , texting other women and quoting scriptures to these women . and will go to church and praise and worship like he has done nothing wrong to the point I cannot even praise God from being sick watching him ... this is truley demonic and I am so exhuasted and confused I just don't know what to do .. Will God step in and stop this ? what in hell is this?

Jun 20, 2009 6:26 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I'm sorry you're married to a womanizer who is using Christianity and scripture. That's wrong on so many levels!

I don't know if God will step in -- but I do know that God requires both action and trust. That is, the walls of Jericho didn't fall down by themselves (Joshua had to march around them for days), and the Red Sea didn't part by itself (Moses had to step into the water).

If confronting your husband doesn't help, I suggest talking to a pastor or elder. Then, you can talk to your husband with a third party -- who can help him see that you're serious. If that goes nowhere, then you'll need to decide if you can accept him the way he is, or not.

I wish you the best, and hope God DOES give you the help you need. He will...but perhaps not in the way you expect :-)

Laurie

Jun 22, 2009 3:02 AM

Guest :

I guess as a guy - I've dated and slept with several women at the same time - choosing the one I liked best then sticking with her for a while, does that make me a womaniser, I have also had long relationships and been 100% faithfull - I definately felt no need to 'ditch' the lady - as you put it. I'm not married yet, and feel no need right now - life is great, I have my looks, my health and my wealth. I show women great times - they laugh and seem so happy. I was best man at my mates wedding, a great honour and great fun - it was a event, they had been going steady for 11 years and mostly I would say were already married - in kind. during the church ceremony ~ I witnessed many tears from the bride and her sisters ... my mate and I looked at each other and I thought how different men and women are in our outlook on some things.

Jul 12, 2009 5:11 PM

Guest :

Lauri,

The best way to confront your husband is to expose his miss conduct. Do not try to protect him because it will just make him continue with his wrong doing without conscience. Believe me, my wife did that to me and I felt that my whole world fell down on me. But on the other side I felt free because I was not living a double life anymore. I had to re-conquer my wife's trust and humiliate myself in front of the church's people. Just talk to the pastor and let him know that you did it (remember to go to the pastor first in private, if he ask you later tell him that you needed counseling). He will be up set and will feel the same way I did but if he really wants to be save he has to confess , look for help and counseling and gain everybody's trust again.

God bless you!

Jul 29, 2009 9:19 AM

Guest :

I have been married for 4 years to a womanizer. Currently we are separated. He has been with over 20 different women. Each time I forgave him until it became too much. He is from another country, so I helped him get his children here. Four of them to be exact. I thought he loved me and loved his children, however soon to be revealed that the only person that he cares about is himself. He does not want to talk about it and it is really sorry because his son has the habit now and he is 20 and the daughter is headed down the wrong road. He seems not to even be aware of the impact this is having on his children. He has not seen his children in a long time and they have only been here for 2 years. Coworkers, friends, clients, whoever he gets women from everywhere. Some know that he is married and do not care and some do have a little self respect about themselves.

Aug 5, 2009 10:50 AM

Guest :

I'm glad I ran across this article. And it never ceases to amaze me how ANY revelation of male predatory strategies always brings out the defensiveness and entitlement of wounded male egos.
I got something to say. QUIT BLAMING THE VICTIMS. Women don't ask to be preyed on: we aren't "victims of our own desires!!" I'm especially angry at one poster who claims men aren't particularly hardwired to be social and give women what they're craving. **Garbage**!!
Spend some time with European and African men; see how they relate to one another and with people in their own societies! They tend to be one HELL of a lot more compassionate,empathic, conversational, and well-socialized than American men, so any arguments to "hardwiring" are bogus. Period, stop, end of discussion. Many to most American boys are reared to believe that they don't have to be social, empathic creatures, and their education in how to have relationships is abysmal. I'm talking about **all** sorts of relationships--friendships, supervisor-employee, romantic, familial, etc. I've even met a lot of American male "nerds" that were social, or at least tried to be. Hot news flash: all it takes often is **effort,** something a lot of American men don't feel they have to put into socialization.
Are American women saints? No! But that's not what this thread is about, is it? The subject of this thread is specifically how to empower women to **identify womanizers.** Any attacks/criticisms/"women too-ism" is a damn distraction from the subject. There are lots of places/articles where you can go to learn how to spot the golddigger; in fact, male fear and loathing of "the golddigger" is rampant, and women dating men in this country hear about it all the time, so much that many of us have gotten paranoid about being tagged with the label.
Last words: American women are very, very tired of being emotionally vampirized. We're tired of pouring all the effort into our relationships, and we're tired of getting very little attention, empathy, and concern in return. There's a reason the majority of American women aren't married anymore in this country. Who the hell needs the headache of loving someone who doesn't deem you interesting enough to interact with??

Aug 9, 2009 10:22 PM

Guest :

Ok here is the truth, when I meet a women for the first time, I am interested as hell. But as time goes on I see things that turn me off, and maybe I subcontiously look for reasons not to commit. The women I moved on from recently have shown me reasons why I should't trust them, or they are damaged from past relationships and carry the extra baggage with them. To be perfectly honest, yes I try to stay in contact with the women that have not gone over the deep end because our relationship didnt go the way they planned,
But I reconize this, the women I have left in my past are not in Love with me, but they Love the way I make them feel, and thats a huge difference. Instead of searching the internet to see if your man is on the womanizer list you should search your heart and ask yourself if you really love him because its foolish to walk away from a person that truly loves me. I wouldn't!

Aug 12, 2009 8:48 PM

Guest :

This describes my soon-to-be ex perfectly! His dad bailed on his family when my ex was 16 (siblings were 9 and 4). No word frpm his dad whatsoever for over 30 years -- until he was found wandering in a foreign city, suffering from Alzheimer's, and -- you guessed it -- hubby and I traveled over there to bail him out (his second wife wasn't going to do it!). At any rate, my ex is also an alcoholic and pathological liar (hiding alcohol all over the house, lying about money, etc.). I finally told him he had to leave. While separated, he told me constantly that he loved me, would never get over me, would never get in another relationship, etc. I then learn that he and his first wife (they had no contact whatsoever for eight years) started talking on the phone constantly -- but at the same time, he's also talking on the phone constantly to a woman he met in AA, *and* he's also sending and receiving sexually suggestive e-mails with a woman he cheated on his first wife with. And this is just what I know about!!! I'm sure there are others. I have my moments of weakness and miss his good qualities (fraudulent as they apparently were), but also figure that any guy who's chasing after 3+ women to get over me (while telling me he wants me back) has got serious issues with self-esteem himself. Ladies (and gentlemen who have been victims of the female equivalent of womanizers) -- SAVE YOURSELVES! They will never change! They may be on their best behavior for some period of time (as far as you may know), but they will never, ever fundamentally change who they are -- pathetic, weak, lacking in character losers.

Sep 1, 2009 1:33 PM

Guest :

I am not sure I am a womanizer but I will tell you this: I enjoy pursuing and flirting with many women. I believe I am attractive and charming to them becuase in many occasions I do not take the first step. I also have to say that I have been married for almost years, I am 30 years old and am the father of a 7 year old. I am educated and treat people with respect. I don't think that I have low self-steem but I can't say I am the most confident guy in a group. I do feel an urge to pursue a woman when I find her attractive..it is almost as if somebody turned on the go-into don Juan mode in me. Although I have not had a parallel relationship with another woman, I have had encounters and in some ocassions have kept in touch with the women I have "met" through some electronic means. i.e. e-mail, facebook. This of course is both a blessing and a curse: the blessing is that I have been able to enjoy many beautiful women even though I am a 30 year old with limited freedoms due to my social status. It is also a curse in that I find myself wanting more and more...with this I don't imply that I am addict to intercourse or anything like that. Rather is the flirting and opportunity of new romance; the ironic thing is that I don't want to materialize that romance to the point where my family is threatened. It is also a curse in that even though I am an excellent father and excellent husband, if you exclude this major flaw, I constantly put at risk my family. My wife has never found out about a material situation with the exception of a few semi-compromising e-mail with no facts. This has caused her to not trust me all that. In the meantime I continue my life with the philosophy that I have clear duties as a father, and as a husband but I also have a duty to myself: life is but one and youth a portion of it. I love beautiful women and not sure if I can stop. I am also not always "on" I do have periods of time when I become dormant..sort of like a bear that wakes up his "womanizer" (ugly word). I only love my wife though. thanks for this forum and for letting me share some rather complex traits.

Sep 22, 2009 5:11 AM

Guest :

All womanizers are not bad, there are some that will tell you they are just having fun and not looking for anything serious so a woman has to choose to stay or go but some are very malevolent, also look out for NLP language, yes these men do hypnotize and trance women out, it's part of the art of seduction, RUN don't walk it will take massive deprogramming to make you realize he never loved you. They touch you in specific places, they create a familiar feeling, that same feeling you have when you sit down and talk to your girlfriend kind of feeling, he will make you feel like it's okay to talk about your past, your hurt, your pain, your problems and then use them to get rid of you once he's ready to discard you. He moves fast but there are some that move slow which means he's highly pathological and most likely highly abusive verbally, physically, mentally. He will be in constant contact with you this is another way to make you feel this comfortable familiar feeling, it's also a way to SEDUCE you into believing he loves you and you love him then POOF he pulls out, he's gone, he's ignoring you, not calling you, not emailing you and your frantic over it, that is part of the art of seduction.

Womanizers are not all bad, some will be up front, tell you what they want day one but they are not the majority and there is no way to not run into these men, use your GUT LEVEL INSTINCTS, even if you can't see anything wrong, don't DISMISS that nagging feeling in your stomach, move very slow with men and don't be afraid to say nope this isn't working for me, I used to never dump men but now I have no problem walking away, they will just find another unsuspecting victim to mind f**k. Good luck and remember if your lonely, need attention, crave excitement, if your desperate for love you are an EASY MARK, your prey to the sociopathic bad boy womanizing predator and he will hunt you down until you give in, break you and leave you worse off before he came into your life. Cure your own insecurities, love yourself and remember don't ever let a man guide your reality, if something doesn't feel right walk away and don't accept his reality as yours. Learn everything you can about bi-polar, narcissism and sociopaths, the more you know the better prepared you are to deal with these kind of men.

Oct 28, 2009 10:07 AM

Guest :

To all women there who think they are with womaniser,I really feel for you.I fell for one,despite all my intelligence and experience! I saw through his game since day one but there was an extreme attraction between us even though he is far from being good looking .I wanted to have a casual fling with him but he insisted on calling me his girlfriend and appeared to be jealous of my ex, lots of rubbish!!! He probably has hypomania as he hardly sleeps,talks very fast, talks to everyone around him at all times and engages in risky activities and investments.He introduced himself as successful business man, has a fast cars, boat,title and so on.He also claimed that was divorced and lived with a daughter.He also apparently loves threesomes but this and all above is just part of the game how to get as many women as possible.He persuaded me to look for women for our threesome together as OUR game.So we seduced together WOMEN WITH CHILDREN as they are the most vulnerable and God,it worked each time.It is shocking how easy women can be!He would be great with their kids and pretend how he loved children and how he would love to have another one!!!Rubbish, he hated when children were around especially if they were crying or talking loudly. For me it was like I was in a dream, even though I am a very strong person,he manipulated me into thinking that all this was ok. Then I noticed that he sometimes had to make phone calls to his MUM or work related.Off course I discovered those calls were to other women,he sometimes texted from my own bed,always different women,his phone book was full of nicknames (including myself),he never had a number with first and last name.After 5 months being together,he never called me by my name,not sure that he actually knew it!!! He also claimed to have lots of ladies friends,apparently to help them as many of them were divorced. To cut long story short I discovered that he lied about most things,he was a compulsive liar as he lied even when he had no reasons to!He would vanish for 3-4 days and then blaming me for not returning his texts that he never sent!When we had an arguments he would make me feel guilty about everything by cleverly manipulating the truth.We broke up when I confronted him about all his lies,he just said that he couldn't be stressed and said like a child, byyyeee!I am writing this to warn all women out there.I really feel for women who have children with these men.After all everyone needs and wants to love and be loved!

Nov 6, 2009 12:43 AM

Guest :

so very true..

Jul 26, 2010 8:00 PM

Guest :

I'm a 34 yr old man and im hear too say women are far worse about manipulating the oppiset sex! I dont even wanna hear no crying. This crap gose both ways, either your the wind shield or the bug. The power of a relation ship is in the hands of the one who cares the lease about the other. If you let some one woo you and do you its your own fault!

Aug 11, 2010 3:55 AM

Guest :

I surfed to this article trying to help someone who is in a 30 year marriage, dedicated to work and family yet the other person has been cheating, lying and living a second life three times over in other States. Due to privacy and circumstances further details are to the best interest of both parties to be kept quiet. There is a huge problem trying to empower the one being abused, passively, into getting out of the marriage, but article was helpful. Thanks.

Aug 12, 2010 11:06 AM

Guest :

to Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen, not entirely true. I used to be a womanizer, until i met this girl. since me and her got together, i haven't talked to any other girls except the few friends that i managed to keep. I love this girl with all my heart, so yeah sometimes a guy can change. I've even helped some of my friends stay out of relationships with guys that are like how i used to be.

Sep 10, 2010 6:47 AM

Guest :

As I read this article, i must sadly admit that it portrays my character and personality very accurately, once upon a time i pride myself in my ways. I'm currently 29 years old and still act just like the description seen on the article. I'm constantly in persuit of new women and have used the excuse whilst being in a relationship that they are all my friends, I have told my partner that I need to grow up, but as i read some of the comments below I release that they are just excuses for my ways. I'm currently in a serious relationship, but it has been a constant battle between myself and my partner as she becomes aware of my new lady friends every couple of months. My current partner is an outstanding lady and I know that in order to take it to the next level I must end my ways, she has been very patient with me. I know that i need help, but i don't know where to seek this help as i can not battle my demons on my own. Can anyone help?

Sep 18, 2010 7:55 AM

Guest :

This is so sad when it happens to women. I hope that someone i know isn't a womanizer. just don't break a womans heart. I believe that womanizers don't like decent men and only want to protect there turf not to help nice guys out.

Sep 21, 2010 8:11 AM

Guest :

what is the opposite of womanizer that is the question. I am a virgin and believe it is wrong to sexually use women period. how many girls hearts have these womanizers have broken. people can change if only they want too

Sep 27, 2010 11:59 AM

Guest :

I have recently figured out I am married to a womanizer...unfortunately, we also have a 6 month old daughter....now I think I am kinda stuck with him....What the Hell do I do? I am already tired to death of living happily on the surface and being suspicious of every woman he looks at or speaks to...He has lied to me so much and gets mad at me when I find out he is lying...He tells me that I am being ridiculous or stupid...like somehow it's my fault he is a liar..I dont want to be like him and lie all the time...I took vows and I respect them....but he shows me no respect and I am at a loss as to what to do.

Sep 30, 2010 8:56 PM

Guest :

I cannot agree with this 100%. It makes very valid points. However, to follow these guidelines could be a massive mistakje. Sure some men do come off like this. And sure you may even know that the man in question had been with alot of woman. But who is to say he isnt with them to find love? Maybe he dosent expect the whole love at first sight thing and he is open to trying out relationships. Just because they dont work out does not nessicarily mean he only wanted sex. Statistics show that woman have had sex with twice the partners as men have. What does that make them? Meninizers?

Oct 12, 2010 4:04 PM

Guest :

Hit the nail on the head I must say, as an aspiring psychologist I observe many people and this article has stated almost all key points of what a womanizer's characteristics are and what creates them to become one. I have a friend that I label a womanizer and I swear this article is basically a bio of who he is and what he's been through. lol. Anyway, this article has inspired my to go deeper into the mind of the womanizer; they are truly an interesting category of manipulators.

Nov 30, 2010 1:44 PM

Guest :

Very good article. My husband's friend reminds me of a humming bird flitting from flower to flower, supping the nectar from each. He has tried to chat me up; I do find him very attractive, but don't trust him, so tend to keep things low key just saying hello and being courteous.

Dec 6, 2010 12:39 PM

Guest :

Whoever said Latinos are the worst are wrong. They think they have game but in all reality they don't, especially if u look at what they get. They come on to strong and it's obvious. Real womanizers gain your trust, and have strategies. There's a difference between hitting on a lot of girls, and being a womanizer the womanizers are a lot smarter and more successful. They also don't make their intentions obvious. I am a womanizer of sorts, and I stratagize and I'm good, I sleep with three different girls this weekend. And I'm only 16, I'm very manipulative, and I've broken Many girls hearts. I'm also very good looking, confident, smart, funny, charming, and I know all the right things to say. I keep a paper of lines in my back pocket, and they are perfect lines that aren't cheesy, I read books about psychology and seduction. It's a hobby, honestly...... But There's always that one girl that won't fell for ur charm. And she drives me crazy, I say things so deep to her that I would never say to anyone else. It's weird I can get her in bed but I can't get her to be my girlfriend, and I'm serious about her I think..... But I spend all day thinking about her, and she's by far not perfect at all........ Yet the slightest imperfection about her is the most beautiful thing in the world to me.. She drive me crazy

Dec 12, 2010 1:23 AM

Guest :

In response to the comment of Jan 17, 2009 8:22 PM, submitted by a self-confessed womaniser who states that he finds this article "most disturbing:"
I find your deluded justifications for your bad behaviour most disturbing. You get away with your behaviour by being deceitful - do you think that women, if they understood the love you gave them was a lie, would sleep with you? Do you think that women, if they knew that you were going to leave, would sleep with you? Obviously you could be up front, but as has been mentioned below, that would not be in your interest.
You don't "exist to serve" women, you exist to serve yourself.
As for the comment that you "provide more benefits than detriments...." The only person who benefits from your behaviour in the short-term is YOU (but not the long-term - you'll likely end up old and lonely). After making your victim love you, when you leave, they will feel used, deceived, damaged, exploited, hurt, angry and, well you could insert probably any negative emotion in here that you like, including suicidal. Some people never recover from a broken heart. Some people sink into depression and other mental illnesses. The damage is sometimes irreversible. The wounds may take a long time to heal.
I wonder if you'd act the way you do, if you truly understood the negative consequences your actions had. If you enjoy hurting other people, well that that would put you in the psychotic category - and no body likes a psychotic person.
I was burned pretty badly by a womaniser. He pretended to have serious intentions towards me, he made me feel like he was serious, and that I was the best, the one and only, and the most beautiful girl he had ever met. He told his friends that he'd met "the perfect girl." I felt secure with him. I tested him, and he jumped over every obstacle I put in his way. But my defenses were not strong enough - He deceived me. He had 4 girls on the go at the same time, all of whom I'm sure he found beautiful during their "special time together." (This sort of talk sickens me). I have finally accepted that he was a womaniser, but resent the 2 years of grief and pain that I was put through. If I knew that those 2 years were going to unfold, I would not have been with him. It was definitely NOT worth it, not on any rational cost benefit analysis. If I had known he was a womaniser initially, I would never have been with him - Life is too short and precious. You think you're investing your emotional energy wisely, but you lose out in the long run because you've been tricked.
How would you like it if it happened to you?
What comes around goes around. If you don't give genuine love, you'll never get genuine love. Love that lifts you up where you belong.

Jan 29, 2011 11:58 AM

Guest :

Now while I have'nt read all the comments I have read a few key ones inluding JAN 17 2009 bit and DEC 12 2010 and a number of others. To start my opinion I must let you know that I am a womanizer but unfortunatly that is'nt a word I really like either. Words like these have all been put into one catagory and that should'nt be. I womanize all the time but I do'nt sleep with them. Their is a difference between a manwhore which usualy is just a player and a womanizer/ladies-man. And I can tell you first hand 90% of men are NOT womanizers. Most men are just players, pure and simple. A player has one thing in mind, getting you into bed! and usualy has the right things to say to get you there. As a womanizer, I like to seduce, flirt and be playful and make them feel good. Does'nt mean I want to goto bed with them! And if you ladies think you got stuck with a womanizer you probably just got stuck with a loser. Having the power to be a womanizer does'nt make you bad, its what you do with that power that makes you what you are! If you sleep with them all, your a manwhore. And I know a few of them and we are nothing alike. This article has some valid points in it, but it leaves out way too much. I attained my abitilities as a womanizer to find one woman...not 30! or 100!! I was that nice guy syndrom that always finished last. So first an formost I was made by by you women. And women like men can be viciously cruel and so I set out to become what I am. But not to use love as a weapon, but to find it! Judge each person on their own meritt, but yes...beware of the players and users. peace

Feb 7, 2011 4:52 PM

Guest :

I think i am a womanizer, but in all honesty i never realised it, i do know what to say to women, i now how to charm them etc, infact i often know what they re thinking before they think it, i genuinely see myself as a guy who is confident funny charming attentive and who enjoys a good sex life, but honestly, i ve just not met the right one and seem to have gone from one woman to the next. The tough bit is that i find it sad knowing i ve upset a woman when i realise i m not interested romantically, i normally cant break things off, as i find it hard watching someone else feel sad and upset. I d like to find love and be in a happy relationship with someone who just litereally ends the univerce, i mean makes other women all look bland and unimportant, i had that once, but i ve not managed to find it since. In the mean time, i meet someone i like then the next thing someone else who seems better comes along, its a viscious circle.
Girls, my one tip for you is this, !!! if a man starts using a pet name like 'button' or tracle or sweet pea, its so that he does nt get your name wrong......
Lastly for those of you who have been hurt i am sorry to hear you stories, i think its easy to manipulate women when you know what buttons to push as it is for women to do the same back.

Feb 7, 2011 9:52 PM

Guest :

I for one used to be a womanizer. A few years ago all I knew how to do was make women feel comfortable around me. Gradually this grew into more. No details needed. Everything in this article may be true to extents. Nothing is 100% fact. After reading several of these comments I find that there are inconsistencies with some of the woman's relationships. Stating the definition of a womanizer if correct is someone who seduces a woman into bed as fast as possible and moves on to the next one, right? Yes I have done that with no remorse or regret. So, by definition if you are in a relationship for a year and married then technically he is not a womanizer because he stayed over the "limit" of the standard game. That means he has feelings for you that are NOT fake. Right now my guess of what you are experiencing is some typical male behavior. A lot takes place in a relationship. I am not taking sides or protecting all womanizers. Just stating an opinion. So ladies, don't be so quick to judge the guy you're with because he has womanizing tendencies. Step outside yourself and discover what the real problem is and find a way to overcome it or be weak and just leave him cold. You have to evaluate where you are in your relationship and come to a conclusion.

Feb 11, 2011 11:02 PM

Guest :

I will admit. I have been a womanizer and many of these characteristics describe the man I am. However, I would never describe my relationship with women as using them.

And I have shut it down and have gotten a backlash from many women over the last few months. Chronically hearing "what's wrong" "i miss that fire in your eyes" where's the old you" etc.

I also think people need to discuss the syndrome of women who go out and have a number of casual relationships and then all of a sudden in their relationship with you they desire to own you. Why must those rules of engagement change.

Feb 28, 2011 4:54 AM

Guest :

well 'm involved with a womanizer.i come from an abusive background and the attention and understanding was so new and flattering.i try getting out of it but i cant.i am scared of being alone.i'm his youngest girlfrien.the truth s he's very open about it and prides himself on being a womanizer.

Mar 10, 2011 2:01 AM

Guest :

I am in an addictive relationship with a womanizer. I know how bad he has been and the lies he tells. I have never let another man treat me like this and I need help to stop it but don´t know where to go. I have always been a strong independent woman but it has all gone. Its nice to read this article because i can relate to it

Jun 5, 2011 8:42 PM

Guest :

So, I've been a bit of a nerdy computer programmer. In my 20's I've had to go 8 years in a row without intimacy or sex. Not cool enough, not smooth enough. And then there you stand with your silly rose being rejected like a kid because it's all just not good enough for the ladies. They want this, they want that, the guys with the tattoos, the guys with the big mouths. Trust me ladies, if anything makes womanizers exist, it's you, you, you and you love it. I'm so very very glad I was able to build another mindset, only to realise that the power of attraction lies with the ladies until the age of 30, then starts shifting towards the men, and after the age of 40 the ladies have no power left. And trust me, life as a womanizer is much better than life as a lonely geek sitting at home rejected and defeated. And there will be nobody that can put onto me the nonsense of moral wrongdoings. This whole article is cry-baby. When I compare men to women I can conclude nothing else than that the women are the mean, selfish, deceptive, manipulative group. And guess what: now I'm more of a womanizer, most women around me agree on that, I have better conversations with women, better understanding of women, better closeness with women. And they love it. They don't like the goodbye that often happens but they love the sincerity of it.

Jun 11, 2011 6:46 PM

Guest :

To the Guest on January 7, 2009. I know who you are. Here is your post:
My boyfriend of 5 years was a womanizer when I met him and yet I believed him when he said he wanted to change. (Let's back up here. You called him a womanizer because you came on to him knowing full well he was in a long-term relationship? At one point in your relationship with him you gave him an ultimatum while you were away with him, knowing full well he was cheating on his girlfriend with you, her or me? He chooses to work things out with his girlfriend and you were “Crushed”? No doubt because you had already set him up and made sure his girlfriend knew about you. So when you got back into town, was it really a surprise that she threw him out? You took him in by "Default"? Is that really a healthy way to start a relationship? Seems to me there were integrity issues on your part as well as his. It drove you crazy that he continued to have a friendship with his ex. To the point that two years into your living arrangements you left him to try to manipulate him from having any kind of friendship with her. Let see during that time you lived together how many woman did you accuse him of having a secret affair with? Including an unattractive band mate of all people? Even told his Mother? How many times did you apologize to him because of your “Jealously Problem”? Not every flirtation leads to sex, (Excuse me! But did even one flirtation lead to sex? O how conveniencent, you say) but it doesn't need to... (Because it never happened once) the womanizer likes the attention and the chase. (Isn’t he a professional musician and is surrounded by woman all the time, is that not how he met you? That’s right he cheated with you so therefore you could never trust him, makes perfect sense.) The difference between a healthy friendly man and a womanizer? The womanizer always lies and keeps secrets. The healthy man's women know about one another and there are no secrets. (With your history and jealously problem how could he tell you anything you would not misconstrue? Didn’t your second marriage break up because you were jealous of your husbands relationship with his Mother and Sister’s? Gee imagine that, they didn’t like you! You and the so called womanizer got back together and not long afterward his best friend moved in with you both. You started an affair with his best friend and were planning to move out with him. All the while the womanizer was going through Chemotherapy and you tried to have him committed because, gee he was having an emotional breakdown!
There is a lot more to this story, but I think the readers on this blog have gotten the picture. Next time you want to write a fictitious article, don’t comment on the links that you have included in your article. You are so predictable! I feel very sorry for any man that gets involved with you. And Thank-God that the so-called womanizer is in a wonderful healthy relationship now.
Bottom Line Womanizers could not exist if women showed integrity and respect for one another!

Jun 16, 2011 1:47 PM

Guest :

My boyfriend was so lovely at the start of our relationship. He would nearly always do the cooking for example. The Paella dish he made on our initial dates was really lovely. Then as things became more serious he was always up making breakfast in the morning, like porridge with maple syrup and experimenting with pancakes (adding banana and blueberries into the mix).
We would go on long walks together all around London. In general he was so attentive and caring that I couldn't understand how someone so amazing and funny could still be single (he just turned 35 this month). He was always on the phone, jovial and bantering with friends, especially those at home in Ireland.
He's got his issues, we all do. One eye is significantly higher than the other and he has very badly acne-scarred skin which I thought might have hindered his luck with the ladies. He doesn't ever drink alcohol so going out at night socialising was not really his cup of tea. He swears like a trooper constantly, being Irish he kind of gets away with that. Loves betting on horse races.
His mother dying 3 years ago hit him really hard and I'm no expert but he may not have dealt with his grief properly. For someone who is so religious it was always a bit strange he was anti-marriage.
In the last few months of our relationship he began acting differently towards me. Disrespectful wouldn't really cover it, but I made excuses for him as I was in love. With hindsight I now think he was trying to get me to break up with him. That way I guess he leaves a trail of pining exes that several months down the line he can tap.
When we did eventually break up and I was in tears he said 'All women are stupid'.
Well we're not, it's just a shame that sometimes people have to learn things the hard way.
If any of this seems familiar go with your gut and don't assume he's as nice as you. Don't get involved. I have no proof he was cheating but I think he just moves on from one relationship to another and there are no exceptions.

Jul 13, 2011 3:18 PM

Guest :

i disagree about what psychologists say about womanizers have "low self steem" that is the biggest BS! if one thing you need to talk to girls is "high self steem"... i don't know which psychologist said that but SHE is wrong

Jul 28, 2011 9:24 PM

Guest :

I am untangling myself from a man much like the one in the article above. They are predators, they know how to find their prey. As Pat Benatar's song, Fire & Ice and Christina Perri's, Jar of Hearts. Bottom line though, as women, unless they force us, we have a voice to say NO!! I did not and that was my bad, I could have said no, should have said no. So word to the wise, if you think you can change them you can't, if you think you will be the ONE they will love-do you really want to take that risk? If you think its wrong, then it is. Turn tail and run.

Aug 23, 2011 6:16 PM

Guest :

I feel like an idiot. This amazing, hansome, wealthy young Turkish man completely swept me off my feet at a salsa nightclub. We've been seeing each other for about four weeks now and we've had sex about five times. I just couldn't resist. He's got the charm the looks, and money is like water to him. I know he's just going to break my heart. I can already feel it coming. I need to stop seeing him before things get worse. I try to detach my emotions, but I just can't. Womanizers are the worst, because they are irresistable, and they know it.

Oct 11, 2011 5:02 PM

Guest :

i must admit i'm a womanizer but cant stop...please help. i just love woman. i find everyone so fasinating. i love all different kinds of women and dont like relationships as its too much stress. the only good thing about a relationship is the sex and intamacy...the rest sucks and then i get borred and want a new woman with diff attributes. i just love the honymoon phase where we're so in love for a few weeks...but then i'm off when they start asking me to meet their fam. i feel lonley though and really want to settle down but as soon as i see another woman that i like i'm off. they could be ugly...but have a really good walk or sense of humour and i want to connect with them like i'm taking her gift and adding it to mine or something...like in a comic book or something. but i still feel for all who i been with and would really have like 20 wives if i could cause i love them. please help.

Oct 13, 2011 10:59 AM

Guest :

I think it seems that you can find this so called womanizer in every man if you want. How do you know that this man maybe going out dating just want to find his love of his life and don't find it because of all the shallow poeple around him. Aren't looks and fame everything,well money too in this modern world. What do you call the opposite for a woman?

Oct 24, 2011 8:29 AM

Guest :

dont pretend that women dont like to get laid too.. not every woman wants to fall in love with every man she sleeps with

Oct 25, 2011 8:41 AM

Guest :

i started sleeping with a womanizer when i broke up with my boyfriend 7 mos.ago,i wanted to get over with the emotional pain so i decided to go have fun with someone who i thought would help me get through with the heartaches i was feeling at that time co'z i'd known him to be a womanizer for i'd seen him with some of the girls or his victims several times.I don't know why he always brought those girls to my workplace and always introduced them to me.Anyway,after 3 or 4 nights of sleeping with him i decided to stop and sent him an email telling him about what i wanted and that i just want us to go back to be normal friends again,and that if he still wanna hang out with me it would be fine for me but strictly no sex involve and ihe agreed with me and said that he doesnt wanna ruin our friendship too co'z of sex.He stopped texting me then for a while but after a week he started texting me back telling me sweet things like he's missing me and he kept doing it everyday.even when he's out to another country.And when we hang out together for fun i always end up tipsy and he always took me back to my apartment and he went home,we became like best of friends,really no sex just normal friends. until he was transferred to a really far place still he kept in touch and lately he's been asking me to marry him for he wants to start being responsible and all that..and that he thinks my personality and attitude towards life is what he really likes for a wife.I don't take him him seriuosly co'z aside from knowing him as a womanizer I even think he's a boring person who doesnt know anything about having fun but just playing and having sex with girls,Although he's cute and a bit looking hot i wonder why the girls like him or ended up falling in love with him (co'z some of those girls told me so for they know im a kind of his bestfriend) when he's not even really that good in bed,
This article really tells everything about a womanizer co'z the description really fits and as a woman who's been with a womanizer,all i can say is that they really are heartless and even if they fall in love they can still switch their feelings off like a wink of an aye and if they wanna get married it's not because they love the girl but it's because they want someone to pamper them like what a good mother does to her child..

Dec 27, 2011 10:53 AM

Guest :

Wow you were like describing my ex boyfriend!

Jan 18, 2012 4:57 PM

Guest :

It's hard to tell if you're into a womaniser because all relationships start with an intense attraction and doing things to impress the other person. So unless we're very accute mentally, then we women can be sitting ducks. Just the second time I met my ex boyfriend he told me I need a man and someone to help me around the garden. He was smooth and said all the right things. He asked me out a couple of hours later and brought the date forward from Saturday to that very night. He picked me up early and told me we were going to the movies and back to his place. Note, he didn not ask if I wanted to go back to his place!! He paid for me to go to the movies and I refused to go home with him. I didn't hear from him again even though he said he wanted to get to know me better! I rang him three days later and left a message saying "You said you wanted to get to know me better but you never call! Please don't call or come around again". I regretted my abrasive approach and got in touch with him and we made arrangements for another date. He slept with me that night and every time I saw him afterwards, for about three months. He rarely called or texted me between dates and always had excuses. He never took me on a real date since the first movie date and he only went on a real date with me after I ended the relationship because he hadn't seen me or called me for almost two weeks. He begged for forgiveness and said he'd pull his socks up but u know what? I had to do the leg work to get the date happening! I had to pick him up even though he would usually pick me up to see me. He ended up going back to his native country for a holiday (I assume!) but didn't bother saying goodbye. The last time I saw him was when I was dropping off the laundry I had done for him. LMAO!! Good riddence womaniser!

Mar 11, 2012 10:08 AM

Guest :

Time to put in for a divorce.

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