When a Friendship Is Over - Friends No More

Recognizing When a Friend Ends Your Relationship

Nov 21, 2006
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

When a Friendship Is Over - Friends No More - sxc sraburton

It's sometimes difficult to recognize when a friendship is over. These tips will help you accept that a friend has ended your relationship, and you're friends no more.

Most friendships dwindle naturally: people move, change jobs, accept new responsibilities, or embark on different stages of life. Other friendships, however, end prematurely and abruptly.

When a friendship suddenly ends and you don't understand why, it can be especially painful and puzzling. Sometimes a friend ends your relationship without telling you why you’ve been dropped. Sometimes a friend ends your relationship without expressing hurt feelings towards you.

The loss of friendship might be worth reflecting on. Knowing when a friendship is over and why it ended may help you build stronger friendships in the future.

What Do You Do When a Friendship Is Over?

See if you can pinpoint a problem. When a friendship is over, review your relationship. Perhaps you remember your friend complaining that you’re always late, or repeatedly asking for the money they lent you seven years ago. Maybe you rarely return their phone calls, or constantly flirt with their partner. Maybe you always need a ride to the airport, help renovating, or babysitting services – but you rarely return the favor. When a friend ends your relationship, try to uncover the reasons the friendship is over.
Write a letter to your friend. Express your feelings about the friendship. Do you miss seeing them? Do you have any regrets? Would you act differently if you were still friends? Tell your friend how you feel – be vulnerable – without accusing or complaining. Make it a positive, honest communication. When a friendship is over, you have nothing to lose.
Express your feelings of hurt, anger, or rejection. Write or talk about how you feel in a journal or letter – something you don’t necessarily plan to send. When a friendship is over, it's important to communicate exactly how hurt or betrayed you feel, and why. Write until you have nothing left to say. Edit and send it, or just burn it. When a friend ends your relationship, you do have the right to express yourself.
Communicate that you are open to reestablishing the friendship. When a friendship is over and you want to reconnect some day, send Christmas, Hannukah, or birthday cards. Say hi and send greetings through mutual friends. If your friend experiences a death or illness in the family, mail a card or send flowers. When a friendship is over, don't give up until you're ready.
Resolve to make your existing friendships better. A counselor once told me that simply talking about your relationship – how you communicate and interact – strengthens your bonds. Talk to your existing friends. Are you happy with how often you see one another and the activities you do? Are they happy with your friendship? If a friend ends your relationship, learn something from it.

When a Friendship Is Over, Don’t:

Disrespect your friend by gossiping or complaining to mutual friends. Your friend has the right to end your relationship. When a friendship is over, let it go.
Burn all bridges – sometimes old friendships and lost friends can be resurrected to be stronger than before. When a friendship is over, it may be a temporary thing.
Act in the heat of the moment or say things you might regret. If a friend ends your relationship, accept it without blowing up.
Push for communication (ie, don’t stalk your friend). When a friendship is over, let it be over.

Do you have trouble choosing the right friends? Read 5 Types of Toxic People to Avoid.

If you found When a Friendship is Over helpful, you might like:

Laurie Pawlik Kienlen, Psychology Feature Writer, Bruce Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen is a full-time writer and blogger in Vancouver, BC, and the creator of the Quips and Tips blog series.

Comments

Sep 1, 2008 12:09 PM

Guest :

I had a friend but was unsure if she was a friend. I felt she was unsuppotive of me looking for love in me life,but yet she was searching.she helped be when I was down but I helped in return.It took years for her to inclide me in her life but when she did it was around the time she had relationship problems.I get the feeling she would rather me be alone.wth my son.She says hurtful thins to me but indirectly.I have told her a few tmrs of how she was hurtful but after a while she wanted to end the frienship.I then stated to her that I did not want it to end I have kept a slight distance toward her but during this time she became closer to her family and we now speak once every two monts or less rather than weekly. is this frienship at a end?

Jan 19, 2009 5:31 PM

Guest :

I was shocked by the death of the friendship between my best friend ever and me. We've been friends for 10 years and never had an argument until about a month ago, then again about 3 days ago. It should have been very minor and was blown out of proportion, but I have found this information most helpful. Because of what I read I'll not jump into burning bridges, as was my first inclination.

Jul 21, 2009 10:37 AM

Guest :

"When a friendship is over, don't give up until you're ready." This kind of advice is damaging. I ended a 20+ year friendship to protect my own well-being and I told the woman I didn't want her in my life anymore. I let her know via e-mail 5 years ago, and in person and on the phone 4 years ago that our friendship is OVER and I wanted her to leave me alone. She sent me a Christmas card 2 years ago and I sent it back "return to sender" without opening it. So turned right around and resent it, addressed to my son. She called me on my birthday this year too. I hung up as soon as she identified herself.

She lets some time pass before attempting contact again, it's true, but she just won't give up. For the sake of my mental health (which is why I ended the friendship to begin with) I sent her a letter 2 months ago and told her again, in no uncertain terms, to leave me and my family alone. Reading an article like this would only encourage her to keep up her harrassment. You should be encouraging people to respect each other's boundaries. I keep setting up personal boundaries and she keeps forcing her way across them.

If she has things to ask me or things to say, I'm sorry for her. Writing in a journal is a good idea, but I am not under any obligation to provide her with an explanation or closure, and I won't be manipulated into it. Whoever wrote this article isn't considering the other person - the person who ends the friendship. There may be some really good reasons for doing so, and forcing yourself on someone who doesn't want you in their lives just makes you look pathetic and creepy.

Jul 31, 2009 9:09 PM

Chris McLaughlin :

To the Guest on "damaging advice". While I can understand your thoughts on this, the author of this article also has this to say, "When a friendship is over don't: Push for communication (ie, don’t stalk your friend). When a friendship is over, let it be over." So, the author actually addressed that type of situation.

Also after ending a couple of toxic relationships myself, I can tell you that it's a bad idea to send your ex-friend a letter in any way. For these toxic folk, ANY communication from you as an open invitation to try to contact you again no matter what your letter says. They see it as an open door.

Aug 11, 2009 3:34 AM

Guest :

I have read the very helpful piece, after having a close friendship with a woman, due to a situation which her child was in, I too had known them and been close to, I had realised that it was only that situation that had bought us together, but she then opened up to me about many things and it was all heavy, negative and hurtful, she had suffered, I had been pulled into this and felt I had to create a distance because it was ruining and over taking my life, I feel for her and those around her and hope things get better, I dont feel the need to talk about things anymore as the damage has been done, to me, I am on the verge of seeking counselling myself, as the effects of this have changed my life, my outlook, and that scared me. I wont forget anything but there has to be a line and a point, I came away from meeting her or came off the phone feeling sick, negative, sad, and miserable, even though it was all unintentional and she only needed a shoulder to cry on, I understood how painful this was, and tried to hard to help, then I was in the mess as well. I cant tell anyone else about this, I have other friends, but I dont want to damage them with this. I hate myself for not standing up much earlier, she wll only think of me now as not being interested and not caring, and that hurts, because that is what I did but I could not make any sense of carrying on like this. I feel drained and ill and I fear if I wrote a letter saying all the suggestions above, she would take umbridge and probably put her life at risk, as she feels like her world is no more. Added pressure I cant take. I want to go to an Island where there is just fresh air and no one to speak to, only others in a simular situatuion to me, I keep a lot back in my life because I know deep down everyone has their own things, rights or wrongs, to deal with. I want someone to love me for me, be my friend for me, people can damage people.

Nov 2, 2009 6:43 PM

Guest :

Sometimes it just doesn't work out how you had wanted it to. I know its not all that comforting but its the truth. Don't give up too early but don't try too hard, try making some new friends. Also, hold on to all the good memories they will give you comfort and serve you in the future. Plus, friends are like the stars, just cause you can't always see them doesn't mean they are not there. Maybe you care more than your friend about the loss but there is nothing wrong with caring.

Nov 3, 2009 12:22 AM

Guest :

This is helpful advice, but some advice on how to deal with an ended friendship and the pain associated would also help. I have recently ended a friendship that was already dying due to her extreme fundamental religious beliefs, and I'm more of a liberated, spiritual gal. She is that typical Christian who thinks her way is the right and only way, and any other way is wrong. Can you imagine being subjected almost daily to reading Bible quotes, sometimes in your e-mail? I could not have a conversation with her without her mentioning God, or satan's influence in the world, and such. Sometimes I just want to talk about food and other pleasant stuff, but it was always about religion. You couldn't talk to her about being irrational. She lives in her own little box, and I'm outside of the box. It just wasn't working. It hurt so bad to end it after many long years of friendship. Maybe someday we can reconcile, but I am not counting on it. Some people just really cannot be friends outside of their social circle, AKA box.

Nov 4, 2009 3:17 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

I’m sorry to hear about your ended friendship – a friend a very difficult thing to lose, especially after years together! Even if you no longer see eye to eye or can’t communicate well, it’s hard to lose a friend.

To help, I wrote a blog post called “How to Deal With the End of a Friendship.”

To get to my Psychology blog, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “How to Deal With the End of a Friendship.” – you’ll also find it in the Nov, 2009 section on the side panel.

I hope it helps, and I invite you to respond either there or here.

Best wishes,
Laurie

Jul 15, 2010 1:48 AM

Guest :

There is nothing worse than not knowing where you stand. I was friends with someone for several years, mostly long distance, and while there were often long periods of several weeks where I wouldn't hear from him, and I would offer that it was okay to end the relationship if that's what he wanted - he constantly assured me this wasn't the case. I wound up being strung along for a while this way. Then it finally happened when I stopped hearing from him - he wouldn't return calls or emails and there wasn't any way to know if he was alright or if something had happened - and he wouldn't even give me that courtesy. I 'let it go.'

The funny bit is, I knew he was still following me around a bit, mostly online and I finally confronted him - and let him know I was angry at what he did. I agree that if someone wants to end a friendship, you have to accept it - but you should be an adult about it, too. Don't just leave someone hanging. You don't have to give a big explanation, but you can let them know and not just disappear. It is unnecessarily hurtful and damaging.

He did apologize and I did offer to take the high road & let us continue, but the long gaps have returned and I'm just tired of being strung along. I wish he would drop the passive-aggressive guilt or whatever it is and just have the guts to say what he really feels - even if it's hurtful. We should all know where we stand. We deserve that much.

Jul 22, 2010 12:34 PM

Guest :

My best friend, well he's hardly that anymore makes no effort in being my friend anymore. I'm off 2, sometimes 3 days a week. He and I share the same days. Too many times on his facebook he wirtes how bored he is and that no one wants to hang out. Well, endless times I've told dude let's hang out, he'll be like let me think or i'll get back to you. He never does. Or he'll be like man, i would have hung out but I'm broke..then through his gf the next day she'll be like omg thanks for the dinner and my bf is the best. I'm like nice, we could have hung out, but his gf is more important. It's been like this for years. I'm tired of the relationship, but at the same time I'm should i keep trying?

Aug 19, 2010 11:24 AM

Guest :

I've had 3 friendships end over my 30 years on this earth...it has taught me about who to trust and who not to. It has also taught me that people will walk into your life at various times and will also walk out. I have also learned to not tell tell your "friends" a lot about you or your personal life, because they can turn their back on you in an instant--and then your business is out there on the street.

The 3 friendships that I have lost were all long ones: one was for 25 years, another was for 11 years and one was for 6 years. I have also learned to not trust people completely because of these individuals. I have also learned that when someone calls you their "best friend," to be weary and not to believe them.

Sep 12, 2010 10:57 PM

Guest :

I too have recently lost a dear friendship of 11 years. It all came about when my friend wrote me a long email basically accusing me of: trying to end the relationship; not being a good friend and not showing I cared enough among other things. The evidence used to back up these accusations was a "gut feeling".
Over the course of a week the friendship had deteriorated to a point where I just didn't have the strength to defend myself anymore. I was angry and hurt and felt the accusations were unfounded (no amount of explanation would appease her). I confided in my sister, who knows my ex-friend very well, and her advise was "end it, she's toxic". In the past my ex-friend has acted needy, jealous (of my other female friends) and has tried to be controlling of me. I just accepted that as her personality "quirk" and thought if I was always positive and sharing it would be ok.
But I've had a lot of things happening in my life over the last couple of months and couldn't give her the time I would have normally and she didn't like it. My sister asked me how much my ex-friend had contacted me over the same time period and the answer (zero) made me think that I was the one always giving to the relationship and I guess I was sick and tired of it.
It still makes me sad to think about but it's definitely been a learning experience and given me pause about making friends in the future.

Oct 2, 2010 12:29 PM

Guest :

I do hope I dont have to register with this site to put this up, cause it seems you have to join everything these days before you can leave a comment.

Anyways, I have a friend whom I am not sure whether we are friends any more or not. Although 3 months ago we were supposed to go to a dinner with her and my husband pulled out cause he didnt really want to go, but I did tell her this before hand. But I told her I would still come, but she said it was to late in the day now, but would have only been an hour later. So I didnt go either, cause she said leave it to another time and I said ok. I spoke with her on the phone, I rang her and she said she had been upset etc and I listened and said how I cant be responsible for the fact my husband didn't want to go, I can only responsible for my own actions really. And remember, I was still going to go.

After everything seemed to be ok and she had other more important problems on her mind that she had to fix which was far more worse then us missing a dinner really. But since then she has been very evasive and although I tried to make the effort a few times I am not getting it returned. So I give up now on it all, and now I feel angry cause of how I am being treated by her, if she does not want to be friends any more, I would rather she just come out and say so really. When I have rang her a few times she never says, I will ring you back now. And seems a bit different in her attitude. I wished her happy birthday and she said she was rushing about, and I said ok chat another time then, not once did she say, she would ring me back tomorrow when less busy or in the week. I tried a few times to arrange to meet with her, but nothing came of it.

I have just quite frankly had enough now.

Oct 2, 2010 12:53 PM

Guest :

Also I would like to ad of my opinion of above. I think that if a friend wants to end a friendship that they should be honest and tell the other friend why. Cause its really hurtful when someone, a friend just dumps you with no reason not knowing even what they did wrong. Years ago I had this best friend and all of a sudden she didnt want to know any more, I asked her why but no no response, I felt very hurt by this and it showed just how little our friendship meant. That she didn't respect me enough to speak to me about it. Whether you just drop a friend or tell them the truth, either way it will hurt, so I believe that every one deserves closure to be honest. Not knowing what they did and just being dropped makes them feel very bitter and hurt. Even if you say to the friend,.

I am really sorry but I don't wish to continue with our friendship any longer because I feel we are moving in different directions now and have different interests then what we used to have. That is ok and not really damaging to the other person. Cause that way you are not saying that person is not worthy of your friendship and you are not putting them down. You are just saying that you both are going in different directions now and feel its time to move on. But just being dumped by a friend which I have been is hurtful, especially when you done nothing wrong in the first place. Its makes you distrust people and you think then, well I know the next friends I meet will be no better because no one is honest these days.

I don't agree with the other person chasing them either if they don't want to know. I think that you can try a couple of times, but if you get no come back then leave it then. Cause it has to work both ways and to continue to keep trying to be friends with someone who clearly does not want to know, is making yourself look desperate and needy and can also be taken as stalking as well. The other person could be saying, oh its him, or her again, calling. behind your back. Cant they get the message now. But it is hard to get the message if no one is honest in the first place.

But I will try a couple of times and then after I just think. fine! I wont bother no more.

Its like this friend I mentioned earlier not knowing if they still are or not, I have tried to make an effort but I am not bothering any more, if I hear nothing back from her within a month I will remove her from my face book page and that will tell her, ok fine. I get it ok! Then if she happens to come back and ask why? I will say to her, I get the impression you don't want to know any more. I suggest meet ups and get no come back from you. Or she may say nothing at all. But whatever way it turns. I certainly am not doing any more chasing if you like.

My Advice to anyone who gets dropped by a friend is, and you don't know that you been dropped, if you don't know why either? ask them? but if they do not have the decency to tell you why then quite frankly, they are not worth knowing in the first place and suggest you find better friends. To just drop anyone with no explanation is hurtful and selfish and gutless.

Even if you cant tell them the exact truth, just say, sorry but we have different interests now and I feel its not working out, or we have nothing in common any more.

They say you cant get nothing out of nothing. But a lot of nothings equals bitterness.

Oct 2, 2010 1:01 PM

Guest :

the comment about if some one says they are your best friend to be wary, how very true. This friend I had years ago said her and I were best friends, I knew we wasn't anyway. Then she said same to her other friend. Then after she said, I dont have any best friends, just friends, I said, well thats not what you said before. She was just playing games, friends off against the other, which is how I lost my other friend who was a best friend of them, if I never introduced J to T then J would probably still be my mate now, but T took her away from me with her bad tongue. But then again, if J was a good friend to me, she would have remained my friend any one, I met both J and T and for a while they did not even know each other, then I introduced them to each other. At first T said she didn't like J. But as time went on T and J seemed to start to get on quite well. Before I knew it, J didn't want to know me any more and I fell out with T for her bad tongue. A few years later found out that J and T were still friends.

Then a few years later I got back in touch with T, and we met up a few times, I asked T what J's problem was, but she said she didnt know, but I know that she did know but was not saying. Then I tried to contact J, but she just ignored and blocked me on line. I thought fine. Then T asked me if J got in touch with me that she passed on my message to J also. When I think deep down T already knew that J had no intentions of getting in touch with me, but she liked teasing her friends see. But a while back me and T fell out again, she is very childish, she acts like a very young child yet a lady in her 40's. I have met children more mature then her. I thought, she is up to her old games again. I told her what I thought and she should now grow up. alas me and T are over again. But I am not that bothered any way. I thought I would give it a 2nd try with her, but she caused so much trouble years ago that I realised she had not changed the 2nd time around.

Oct 2, 2010 1:02 PM

Guest :

All I can say is, over the years, friends have come and gone in my life and I have very little trust now with friends. They are good for as long as they are around for. Its best not to rely on any friends cause you never know when one day, they wont be there any more.

Nov 26, 2010 6:07 PM

Guest :

I had a friend for at least 30 years. I have not ended the relationship but have told her how I viewed her behavior toward me in the last few years. She would say negative things to me and treat me as her friends treated her. In other words, if her other friends treated her badly, she would treat me in the same manner. Decided to keep my distance from her. It has been very peaceful not dealing with the toxicity (using) in the relationship. It has been healing for me. She would never listen when I told her things that were bothering me verbally, so I wrote it in a letter. Read it several times before sending it to make sure it was exactly the way I viewed our relationship. Asked her to forgive me if I did anything to offend her but told her how I was offended. Best thing I ever did. We may communicate periodically via text or email but it is not anything like before and that is a comfortable boundary for me. Sometimes it is best to break a relationship off for good but sometimes it is best to keep the person at arms length. Don't let them get past your boundaries!

Jan 14, 2011 11:02 AM

Guest :

I used to get very down and sad when I thought of the "friendships" that have come and gone over the years. With the New Year upon us, I have made a conscious decision to focus my time and energy on people I care about, and those that care about me. I have spent countless hours trying to uncover the reasons these relationships ended. I can guarantee the other people have not wasted even a minute caring. Made me feel like a chump, as well as very cynical. Most recently, a "friend" has completely distanced herself from me. The last 4 attempts to reach out were by me. She has some issues, and is going through a bizarre mid-life crisis. My thoughts are: She felt I was not there enough for her during some rough times, or I am too much of a reminder of her "past" life. She wants a fresh start and has no place for me, thirdly she's made a new friend that has taken my place. What makes me crazy is how someone can be that mean and downright cruel. Again, she is a little unstable right now; but I care about her. I could NEVER treat someone so coldly. Hence, my New Year's resolution to focus my energies on the positive.

Jan 18, 2011 1:59 PM

Guest :

I realise that sometimes even the best friendships end but its usually because people dont know where you stand. They will often be really nice at first then start getting weird, some people are just like that they want to test the waters see how you react. So what do you do be honest act how you really feel. if you are angry with them make iy known (rationally of course). That way it will be easier to shed all those potentially failing friendships at the very beggining. I made really nice friends but i let them get away with soo many things like racism and stuff. I know its crazy then when i had it i ended one and the other just faded away. Friends come and go be yourself and your true ones will stay end off.

Jan 25, 2011 2:22 AM

Guest :

I just read this and I'm glad that I basically did what was said here. My close friend of a decade moved out of state about six months ago. In that time, I'll be honest, I haven't been the greatest friend. I haven't talked to her in three months. It wasn't necessarily that I didn't want to, but I work nights and she has a daughter and work...I just never knew when I should call. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. I realized how long it had been and decided to call. No answer. No answer to my texts. I've known her long enough to know that when she doesn't respond that she is done with you. I came to terms with it and wrote her a long email tonight thanking her for all the years of friendship and apologized for being kind of a jerk without really meaning to be one. All you can really do when a friend doesn't want to be a friend anymore is accept it, thank them for the years of friendship, and move on.

Jan 29, 2011 7:03 AM

Guest :

This is very sound advice. The last friendship I lost affected me very deeply. Linda was my best friend for over 10 years. After a divorce, she moved out of state to be near family. I knew our friendship was unlikely to survive the hundreds of miles separating us. We exchanged emails and Christmas cards for a while, but eventually she stopped responding.

My mother was mentally ill most of her adult life. When she died, several years after Linda moved away, I wanted desperately to reconnect. I felt so alone and overwhelmed. I tried a grief support group, but my mother's story was so unbelievable that no one knew what to say. Linda had understood about my mother because she had an aunt who was mentally ill. I thought if we could talk, I would feel better. So I sent her an email, pouring out my grief and pain. She never replied. The email didn't bounce back, so I assumed she got it.

I understood that Linda had probably found it necessary cut all ties with her former life, due to the circumstances of her divorce. I would have been a loyal friend for the rest of our lives, even if our only contact was via email. But her silence after she knew my mother had died hurt so much. I would have responded to her if the situation were reversed. I would have done whatever I could to help. Although I knew I should let well enough alone, I followed up the email with a phone call. Her number hadn't changed, and her voice was on the answering machine. I asked if she had gotten the email, and to please call me. She never did.

Eventually, I found a therapist who helped me heal. I was able to work through the pain of my mother's death, and accept that she had a disease. As for Linda, I had to let it go. I certainly didn't want to stalk or harrass her.

Mar 27, 2011 3:48 PM

tash00777 :

i've had a really good friend for the past 3 years, she told me that i was her best friend, our daughters have grown up together, we live next door to each other. everything was fine until a few months ago when a new neighbour moved in, my best friend has basically dropped me and my daughter in favour of the new neighbour and her 2 daughters. things have gradually got worse over the last few weeks, i can no longer talk to her, she no longer talks to me unless i prompt her. i used to see her and her daughter virtually every day and now it has gone to once a week if i am lucky. she has made it very clear to me that i am to have nothing to do with this new neighbour as she is her friend and would not be suitable for me. my husband and my other friends have all told me to forget about her and that it will be her loss to lose me as a friend as i have helped her out alot before and it always seemed to be me doing everything for her and getting nothing in return, i have tried telling them that i cant do that, i love her dearly and will always do so. this is getting me so down that i dont know what to do with myself, i have started drinking to try and ease the pain that i am going through at the moment. i am so glad that i have found this website and read this article as it has made me realise that i am not alone and that this has happened to other people. any advice on what to do would be greatly appreciated as i really dont know what to do.

Apr 17, 2011 2:51 PM

Guest :

I want to end a friendship and I don't. My friend has been doing things that a friend just would't do. She has lied to me, withheld information, gave fake grins just to name a few. It is hurting me because I really thought her as a goooood friend. I began to notice things that she had began to do. FRIENDS don't do that. anyway

May 2, 2011 10:12 PM

Guest :

Thanks for the advise its hard when a friendship is over. I tried to be friends but I think it's over.

May 6, 2011 7:47 AM

Guest :

Me and my best friend got in this like so called fight just because one of my best friends dont like her and because she was also making her girlfriend upset like everyday!! So, like i didnt want to in there fight and my friend Irma and I were close. But, after she saw me haning out with the girl she doesnt like and who doesnt like her. Things went wrong! The next day came and i was going to talk to her like usual but, suddenly she just rolled her eyes and ingorned me and i was like really cluesless. And ever scince then me and her been talking mean things about each other and im not like that i really didnt care that neither one of them disliked each other. So i try telling her just drop it and if so we dont have to be friends no more. But, she goes on and tells the COUNSULER!!! and im ther like WTF! I didnt even do anything to her. but, now she wants to fight me. and im lke no just leave me alone and keep your mouth shut and things will be alright i promies okay bye. So today in the moring at P.E she gets her friend Amanda and she comes up to me and tells me sh*t but luucky i told them both off and walk away. But the funny thing is that one of her friends Alyna comes and tells me that she wants to be friends again and im like um noo, why does she want to be friends after she tried telling me sh*t! Things are tooo complated times to times. But, this time im done....i think this fight will probley end our friendship and her repuation here at my school.

May 13, 2011 2:51 PM

Guest :

A friend that I had is not one anymore. It is over now I have opened another door. No harm do I wish on him to befall but I heard another call. In the past with misery I intend not to be. It is over now someday he may be free. His family owns his every move and because of this I cannot be the me he wanted for me. I am myself this I will not deny hold my head up toward the future I shall ride. Take care and do not forget the fun that was had but know this growth is sometimes sad.

Sep 12, 2011 9:58 AM

Guest :

I had a friend a while back, when we first met she was really young and innocent, and she had a crush on me. I did not want to hurt her because she was only 13 at the time so I had move and stop contacting her. After about 4 or 5 years later, somehow we ended up meeting again and to me i felt that our friendship had grew stronger everyday. I did not feel that she still have a crush on me anymore but just friendship. We talked for only about 2-3 months after the reunion and she just seems tired of me and talked to me less and less. She would avoid any kind of contact with me for weeks. At this point i knew that our long lost friendship had ended. It hurts and saddens me to see this long lost friendship would end in such a puzzling way.

Oct 20, 2011 3:16 PM

Guest :

i had a friend who ended it on SMS by insulting me and saying bad things that r not true ,she also made another friend get on her side ,i didnt answer back ,i just couldnt let myself be carried away by the insult ,and supposed she might try to reconsiliate but she didnt ,now i wish i insulted her back

Oct 21, 2011 11:51 AM

Guest :

My friend met someone else and has been ditching me for her. It's not like i'm obsessed with her but I feel excluded. Also they talk behind my back and the one girl is starting to change her into someone else I don't even know. I'm afraid of losig her as a friend and I'm really upset because of the things that I want to do to her since she's being a jerk. Is our frienship over? And what can I do to try and make it better? If anyone sees this please let me know how to handle this.

Nov 3, 2011 3:47 AM

Guest :

I had a friend too... at first i think they will accept me, care about me and be fun everytime with me but when i was sick... they never go find me... or ask me am i allright, etc..
I just want to stop that friendship and forgot them.. I can see them as my friend anymore.. they ignore me.. and i think they just reject me and using me. I hate it. I want this friendship over.

Nov 15, 2011 12:36 PM

Guest :

I recently lost my best friend of 6 years. I adored her and thought the world of her. We went through SO SO much and had so many memories. However this summer she became distant. She said she was too busy and stopped calling or replying. I send messages and emailes for 6 months. sometimes she replied other she didnt. if she did reply it was very short. I opened my heart out to her and made myself look awful! I ended up going mad. I was sad and upset all the time. I felt used and so hurt you cant begin to explain. The problem was she had closure. maybe I did something but she wouldnt tell me what. She owed it to me, but then you may say you dont owe anything to anyone. I cried more tears than I can even remember and hurt day in and day out while she moved on and walked away, knowing how much I hurt. Not Ive stopped. I look back and realise that even if she was my friend once she didnt think enough of me to reply or explain to me. The very fact that she let me beg her over and over again just shows that she was in the wrong. I would never make someone beg or intentionally cause hurt. She could have put me straight and let us both move on but no she had all the control. The funny thing is I still love her. I would still be there for her. I had to accept that she will always be my best friend even though I am not to her. sometimes its one sided. no advise can be followed as each situation is different. the only way to deal with this kind of thing is honest communication between two friends. all i can say is that i have learnt that if the two friends respected each other it would never ever be the case of ignoring a friend unless they had done something horrific. u dont one day just stop being friends and let another person cry and hurt and know this and ignore it. put them straight and allow them to then move on also. my nan always said one thing. never worry about what other people do to you. You only have to worry about what u do to other people. she used to say hurt me as much as u want to, as long as I dont hurt u and have to live with the fact i hurt you then in the end i will get over it. so all i can say is treat people how ud like to be treated and if u do it to someone maybe oneday u will be on the other end left begging for answers, left crying and hurting. just be honest. let them know the issues, either then sort it or agree to disagree and move on. just dont make people beg. just not fair and is pure and simple CRUEL!

Nov 15, 2011 4:10 PM

Guest :

I had been good friends with this one person since high school; really, she had been my only friend since high school. Half a year ago an embarrassing incident happened to me and I trusted her by bringing her along with me to the hospital, because hospitals scare me to death and I wanted a friend who would support me. Several weeks later, she blasted me through email about the embarrassing incident, telling me I was stupid for ever doing it and that she had been holding this outburst in the whole time. I was so hurt and outraged by her looking down on me and calling me an idiot, I wrote back f**k YOU and told her to not call, email, or contact me ever again.

Man, I was angry and felt betrayed. So I guess I burned a bridge with that one, for she never did contact me again. After many months, I emailed her and told her about how I felt since we parted ways, and she never replied back to me. I later found out she forwarded my angry email to an old friend of mine back when I was in my early teens (for some reason, she kept in contact with her, and that friendship also abruptly ended due to final straws).

Talk about a double betrayal! She didn’t just disrespect me by gossiping to mutual friends, but to my ex-best friend by forwarding my private emails to her! After learning that, I don’t feel bad about it anymore. Good riddance. I thought my reaction was a bit immature, but forwarding people’s private messages to their old ex-friends is immature and incredibly hurtful, and a new embarrassment of itself. The little trust I had left in her is now gone completely.

This is a good article. She and I should have read this before things got out of hand.

Mar 12, 2012 8:52 PM

Guest :

This is a hard one...I have a friend who says he is devoted to me, but I never see him. We used to be inseparable to the point that I would always know what he was thinking and vice versa. He was the friend I had always hoped I would find. I thought I had. I love him deeply, like a brother.

We used to see each other whenever we could...even when I lived a long distance, he would always make time for me, write me, call me, want to know about my life. Now that I live nearby, I haven't seen him in almost half a year. It hurts so bad, and I opened my heart to him about it, and even though he said he loves me to death and please don't think that, he sounds cold when I call him, never invites me to see him anymore, never stops by, rarely takes interest in my life and doesn't even reply to my emails. It's taken me a long time to realize that I have been replaced and he just doesn't care as much about me...and it hurts like fucking hell. If the chips were down, I do think he would come to my aid, I do believe that much...but he just doesn't really want me around that much anymore. And I don't really know what I can do but let go...what else can I do? I've already told him how I feel and he's even more evasive than he was before.

I miss the old days when we were close...I wish I could have them back more than almost anything...but it's clear now that he just doesn't feel the same. :(

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