Dr Phil McGraw's love advice will help if you who want to start dating and embark on a romantic relationship. His tips revolve around self-love because you may be able to make him fall in love with you, but if you don't love yourself first, it won't last. When you love yourself first, you're ready for a committed, romantic relationship. When you love smart by loving yourself first, others will love you for who you really are.
The reasons we fall in love are complex and biologically based, but the reasons we stay in love are affected by how we feel about ourselves.
Before You Meet New People, You Need to Love Yourself First
Dr Phil’s “tell it like it is” approach is hard to ignore but easy to understand – especially when he focuses on love advice, self-confidence, authenticity, and falling in love. In his book Love Smart, he stresses that to love smart you need to love yourself first – because if you don’t, who will? Dr Phil's love advice isn't about making him fall in love with you. It's about making you fall in love with you. Then, you're ready to start dating and have a romantic relationship.
To love smart and love yourself first, you need to know what sets you apart from others. You have a unique set of characteristics and quirks that make you an interesting, fun, valuable person. It doesn’t matter if you’re sexy, smart, funny, or athletic – as long as you genuinely love yourself. Dr Phil's love advice is to love smart and love yourself first no matter what you look like. When you accept yourself, you're ready for a romantic relationship.
If you don’t love yourself, it’s difficult for others to like you.
Before You Start Dating, Find Your Personal Truth
“When your personal truth is negative and riddled with doubts, distortions, and shame, you send that message to others in your body language and your facial expressions, which conspire to contradict every word you say and the impression you strive to make.” Dr Phil says that you’re an authority on yourself - and people trust authorities.
Find your personal truth. If think you’re fat, ugly, and stupid then others will too. If you pretend to be slim, gorgeous, and smart but feel ugly underneath it all, others will pick up on how you really feel and treat you badly. And you’ll let them.
Before You Try Romance, Find Practical Ways to Love Yourself First
Dr Phil's love advice is practical. Instead of trying to make him love you, try these "love smart" suggestions:
- Take stock of your past. Create your own personal history full of stories and memories that you want to share. To love smart and love yourself first, remember the good parts of your past.
- Play an active role in family gatherings and events. Find out about your history, about your family and roots. Learn who you are and find your personal truth.
- Become more engaged at work because that’s where you spend most of your time. Build connections with coworkers and take an interest in their lives. Dr Phil's love advice affects your day to day interactions, which will help get you ready for a romantic relationship.
Before You Fall in Love, Overcome Fear of Intimacy
- See the strengths in other people. Tell them why they're special, make them proud to be themselves.
- Trust others, make them feel better about themselves.
- Respect others without judging them. Dr Phil's love advice is about nonjudgemental attitudes and overcoming fear of intimacy.
- Be authentic. Don't lie about who you are. This is a big way to love smart and love yourself first.
- Live by your rules but don't expect others to follow them. Stick to your convictions.
- Be at peace with who you are. Don't feel you have to prove anything. This another huge way to love smart and love yourself first.
- Listen. Be sincerely interested in others, make them feel important. Dr Phil's love advice is real.
To Be Emotionally Healthy, Repeat This Phrase
“I’m tired of being a fly on the wall. I’m tired of being invisible. I’m tired of being left behind. That’s not going to happen again. I’m going to do something else. Good, bad, or indifferent, I am who I am. I’m going to take the best of what I’ve got and make people take notice. If it is my smile and my sense of humor, then, all right, I’m going to quit whining about what I don’t have and start flashing that smile and laughing with the happiest people in the room. People are going to remember me tomorrow! I’ll take chances, and I’ll create what I want in my life.”
Dr Phil's love advice takes practice, but it can help you get emotionally healthy, meet new people, and enjoy dating. Instead of making someone fall in love with you, focus on accepting and loving your true self. Then you'll be ready for a romantic relationship!
If you found Dr Phil McGraw's Advice for Love Relationships helpful, you may also enjoy The Best Way to Meet New People.
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen is a full-time writer and blogger in Vancouver, BC, and the creator of the Quips and Tips blog series.
Join the Conversation