A depressed loved one may not enjoy the holiday season, and may even cast a shadow on Christmas celebrations for the whole family. However, there are specific things family members can do to help a loved one with depression – which in turn helps the whole family at Christmas!
Assign Duties to Depressed Family Members
Some people with depression feel better during holiday functions when they have a physical task to do, such as setting the dinner table or pouring drinks. This way, they don’t have to make conversation or pretend to be happy.
It's important to ask loved ones if they feel comfortable performing certain tasks; even better, offer three options and encourage them to choose the one they’d most enjoy.
Create an “Oasis” for People With Depression
Dealing with depression at Christmas — especially if the house is full of family members — can be easier if there are quiet places for people to retreat. For instance, make sure there is a stack of movies or board games in the family room. Or, round up a couple of people for a walk to the park, ice rink, or just around the block.
Facilitate Conversations Between Family Members
Be prepared to jump in if, for instance, Aunt Sue starts questioning a depressed loved one about lifestyle choices, treatments for depression, future plans, etc.
Ways to deter uncomfortable conversations include admiring Aunt Sue’s Christmas sweater and matching Rudolph earrings, asking for help in the kitchen, suggesting a board game for people to play, and even saying “Let’s not talk about that stuff now – we have Christmas to celebrate!”
Limit Alcoholic Beverages at Family Celebrations
Christmas and the holiday season doesn’t have to include egg nog laced with rum or cauldrons of mulled cider. Alcohol is a depressant, and will typically make people with depression feel worse in the long run.
In addition, alcohol can lower inhibitions and encourage family members (depressed or not) to express emotions, thoughts, and behaviors they wouldn’t otherwise. So, to help a depressed loved one, avoid excessive amounts of alcohol for the whole family.
Find Resources to Help a Depressed Loved One at Christmas
Some people who are dealing with depression don’t want to actively engage with family members over the holiday season – and may refuse to go to the family celebration. If this is the case, call a local distress line or depression hotline. Learn all you can about dealing with a family member’s depression, and make sure your loved one is aware of how help for depression is available.
Depression isn’t something people can easily overcome or ignore, which makes helping a loved one deal with depression difficult. It’s even more difficult over the holiday season when everyone “should” feel happy and united. The best way to cope is to find a balance between helping your loved one and finding ways to let go of feelings of responsibility or control.
Related Reading on Depression and the Holiday Season
How Do I Help a Friend or Family Member Who is Depressed? describes six ways to help a loved one who is dealing with depression.
When Someone You Love is Depressed offers ways to help a family member with depression, as well as tips for keeping healthy and happy family members healthy and happy!
7 Articles About a Health Christmas and New Year includes links to information about reducing kids’ stress at Christmas, surviving holiday parties for introverts, coping with infidelity over the holidays, and more.
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen is a full-time writer and blogger in Vancouver, BC, and the creator of the Quips and Tips blog series.
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