Angry feelings are a normal and healthy part of being human, but anger is a problem if it controls people instead of people controlling their temper. These anger management tips will help people who want to tame a bad temper.
Take Ten Minutes to Calm Down
When angry feelings start bubbling up, take a "time out" for five or ten minutes. Go for a quick walk, take a few deep breaths, take your temper out on your pillow, yell at the sky – do what needs to do be done to get the anger under control. This is one of the most popular anger management tips because it’s effective!
Express Angry Feelings When the Temper is Tame
There’s a difference between expressing angry feelings when enraged and expressing angry feelings after the temper has been tamed (but anger still exists). It’s healthy to express anger!
A tip for expressing anger in a healthy way is to use “I feel” statements. For example, “I feel angry when X happens because I’m afraid of Y.” This anger management tip allows people to express anger without letting angry feelings take over, and without offending, ostracizing, or scaring others.
Think Carefully About How to Express Anger
People who struggle to control angry feelings know how destructive anger can be! When expressing anger, it’s important to think carefully before sharing feelings.
Plan how to express anger in a constructive manner in advance. Write down the main causes of the anger, and the most important issues to be addressed. Try to stay on topic; that is, avoid discussing problems that occurred in the past.
Find the Root of the Angry Feelings
Sometimes bad tempers flare because of unresolved issues, such as disappointment in one’s parents or a betrayal from a teacher, partner, or family member. If this true, then feelings of uncontrollable anger may be triggered by little issues, such as lost keys or an offhand remark. To control angry feelings, it can help to figure out the real source of the problem.
Attempt to Solve the Problem That Caused Bad Tempers
If a past unresolved issue isn’t causing angry feelings, then be specific about the present problem. Take it a step further and find concrete solutions to the problem. For instance, if it’s a person who triggered the angry feelings, work together to avoid the same problem in the future. If that’s not possible, avoid the person altogether. If it’s a situation that caused the anger, then explore ways to resolve the situation.
Anger management tips like these are often difficult to implement at first, but they can become habit surprisingly quickly. It’s important to remember that it takes practice to control angry feelings and tame bad tempers! It doesn’t happen overnight, but it can happen surprisingly quickly.
Related Reading on Dealing with Anger and Emotions
Anger Management Tips explains where angry and hostile feelings come from, and describes the consequences of holding anger in.
Resources for Emotional Healing lists several articles about emotional health, such as “Four Ways to Stop Self-Sabotage and Self-Defeat.”
How Do I Cope With Bad or Toxic Parents? is a Psychology blog post that describes how to deal with parents who are less than ideal; this might be a good starting point for people who feel they’re angry because of unresolved past issues.
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen is a full-time writer and blogger in Vancouver, BC, and the creator of the Quips and Tips blog series.
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