How Birth Order Changes Your Life - Family Psych

The Personality Traits of First Born, Middle, and Youngest Children

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How Birth Order Changes Your Life - Family Psych - stock xchange Grunow
How Birth Order Changes Your Life - Family Psych - stock xchange Grunow
Birth order changes your life by affecting jobs, marriages, and salary! From family psychology: the personality traits of first born, middle born, and last born children.

This birth order information explains how personality traits and lives are affected by being the first born, middle born, or last born child. Here's how family psychology affects everyday life...

Whether you're the oldest, youngest, or somewhere in the middle - your birth order or family placement can affect your life, personality traits, professional achievements, and personal relationships.

Personality Traits of First Born Children - Birth Order

  • Smarter? First born children may be smarter than youngest and middle children. First borns' IQ points are on average 3 points higher than their younger siblings; in fact, IQs tend to drop as more children are born in the family. This may be because parents spend more time with first borns, and first born children mentor their younger siblings and thus learn more. However, Aaron Wichman of Ohio State University found that it’s not birth order that affects intelligence, it’s family size (from a research study called “Older Children Not Smarter Than Younger Sibs, Study Finds”). Big families can’t offer the same advantages to all the kids that small families can. It’s genetics and the family environment that affects IQ more than birth order.
  • Better educated. First born children are more likely to go to college or university than youngest or middle children. If parents can afford to send one child to school, it’s more likely to be the first born. Families invest more in first born children than middle or youngest children.
  • More money. First born children may earn more money and be more likely to hold a high-paying, white collar job. First borns are more likely to be surgeons, chairs in boardrooms, and hold MBAs.
  • Favorites. First born children are more likely enjoy resources (food, parental time, emotional nourishment, attention) than youngest children. It becomes a cycle: the more first borns are nurtured, the stronger they become – prompting parents to invest even more time, money, and attention.

Personality Traits of Middle Children - Birth Order

  • More mysterious. Middle born children are more difficult to define because their identity growing up changed (from last born to middle child). This affects their personality and environment in unpredictable ways.
  • Peacekeepers. Middle born children may be more likely to keep peace in the family, to restore connections and relationships.
  • Less decisive. Middle children may take longer to choose a career than firstborn or later-borns. They may deliberately make opposite choices than firstborns; if the first born is a doctor, the middle child may choose to be a firefighter or policeman.
  • Less connected. Middle children may not be as attached to the family as first borns or later borns.

Personality Traits of Last Born or Youngest Children - Birth Order

  • More adventurous. Last born or youngest children are more likely to be “loose cannons”, according to an article in Time magazine (“The Power of Birth Order”, Oct 29, 2007). Youngest children are more likely to be an artist, entrepreneur or adventurer – and more likely to participate in physically risky sports.
  • Funnier. Last born children are more likely to be comedians or satirists. They’ll be outrageous or funny as a power strategy in the family.
  • More agreeable. Younger children tend to get along in the world better – a trait known as “agreeableness” in the Big Five Personality Traits. Compared to first born children, last borns are less likely to provoke people.

These birth order personality characteristics and lifestyle traits are not set in stone; they’re affected by family size, the environment, circumstances, etc.. Even so, birth order does have a very real effect on your life and personality traits!

“Birth order, even on a rudimentary level, gives you a jump start on understanding each other,” says Cliff Isaacson, an Iowa-based psychotherapist and author of five books on birth order, including The Birth Order Effect for Couples. “Each place in the birth order has a unique thinking pattern, how he or she processes information.”

To learn more about family psychology, read Family Therapy for Anorexia - Treating Teen Eating Disorders.

If you found How Birth Order Changes Your Life - Family Psychology interesting, try:

Laurie Pawlik Kienlen, Psychology Feature Writer, Bruce Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen is a full-time writer and blogger in Vancouver, BC, and the creator of the Quips and Tips blog series.

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47 Comments

Comments

Jan 20, 2009 11:37 PM
Guest :
Your information is very useful :)
Mar 22, 2009 9:14 AM
Guest :
Nothing for only children, as usual
Apr 2, 2009 4:39 PM
Guest :
only childern commonly share the same traits as the oldest sibling.
Apr 30, 2009 9:59 PM
Guest :
well this is correct about the middle.
i was laughing at how accurate it was.
and the being detached part is so true this was shocking to learn.
and it kinda sux because it takes away individuality some what.
Jun 1, 2009 6:33 PM
Guest :
Actually the middle child information is incorrect because im very close with my family (parents) and i one of four children. And we are definalty not the peace keepers :)
Jun 4, 2009 3:45 PM
Guest :
i'm extremly close to my family, and i am the peace keeper only when someone else is fighting. ill try to help them work it out and get through it. then again, i am always the one to start fights with everyone. it's hard.
Jun 16, 2009 3:23 PM
Guest :
I don't know, I'm a middle child and I'm smarter than both my older and younger sisters. I'm also funnier and more adventurous, so I'm unsure of this information.
Also how would this work in an family of four?
Jun 17, 2009 5:18 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Thanks for your comment!

These birth order characteristics -- like any theory -- are based on the family as a whole. These traits of middle children, first born children, etc may not be true for every single person out there. A variety of factors could change these birth order characteristics, such as the age between siblings, the city or community they live in, the type of family they're in, etc. These are just general guidelines.

Regarding a family of four children: I believe that the two in the middle are counted as "middle children." They're more likely to have middle child characteristics than first or last born traits.
Jul 14, 2009 9:16 AM
Guest :
What about the only child? Is there a complex there?
Jul 14, 2009 3:39 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Several readers have asked about the personality traits of only children, and I've finally dug up some info! I cover it in my Psychology Blog.

Just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to "What Are the Personality Traits of Only Children?"
Jul 19, 2009 4:26 AM
Guest :
I'm a middle, and I have found that a great deal of your treatment from the family as a whole comes from THEIR birth order. One of my parents is and only child, and one is the baby. Also, I would like to see twins addressed in birth order articles. My spouse is a twin, but they are the babies of their family. All the other things about the middle are true, true, true!
Aug 28, 2009 8:44 AM
Guest :
i LOVE this info
Sep 6, 2009 7:10 AM
Guest :
so what are fraternal twin personality traits? nothing about that :(
Sep 24, 2009 10:12 AM
Guest :
i think that your info is kinda correct and some wrong bc im older and thats not all right and what about an only child situation?!?!
Sep 24, 2009 10:24 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,

I wrote about the personality traits of only children on my Psychology Blog....

Just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to "What Are the Personality Traits of Only Children?"
Jul 28, 2010 5:27 PM
Guest :
As far as large families go, my reading isn't that the parents don't have time to spend with so many children, its that people with lower IQs tend to start having children at an earlier age (thus having a longer window of fecundity), have more children because people with lower IQs tend not to work as much as people with higher IQs, and, because IQ is highly heritable, the children of parents with low IQs are more likely to have low IQs
Aug 17, 2010 8:49 AM
Guest :
Very accurate for me (middle), but career choice seems swapped for my older and younger siblings. The younger was in corporate level executive positions for years, the older content with managerial level.
We are all overeducated - the younger has gone back to school yet again. I am tired of school altogether and will pursue something on my own if it interests me.
Mother always favored the youngest (each in order). Father favored who ever he could relate to. Sometimes me. Sometimes not.
Being in the middle meant I was always one sibling's favorite (usually against the other), and that seems to hold true today.
I think it really isn't so clear cut as this, because the child's sex plays an important role in expectations -- and how the parents and other children relate to them.
Aug 17, 2010 9:28 AM
Guest :
In my family this extends to political views as well:
My big sister is a conservative, my little sister is a liberal, and I (being in the middle) am a moderate. : )
Sep 13, 2010 10:23 AM
Guest :
As a middle child I can only agree that "Middle children may not be as attached to the family..." Of the three of us I am by far the most intelligent, better educated, highly paid, adventurous and decisive. I am also the only entrepreneur. The same can be said for my children. On the other hand, I do a little peacekeeping, primarily due to my detachment.
Have any studies been done on historical figures that would back your conclusions? The Bush family comes to mind, and I don't see them fitting the pattern either.
Nov 10, 2010 12:09 PM
Guest :
I am a middle chid, and I will not lie to a one of you... I am the best there ever is and probably the best child my parents will ever recieve. I am a go getter and yes, everything to me turns out being a competition. :) Not to mention, I always win.
Nov 17, 2010 11:35 AM
Guest :
I am doing a research report for a class at school, it is on the effect of birth order on personality. If you could fill out my survey, that would be great. All information is anonymous, here's the link:
https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dHJWRmlhWEV2R3RrVnp0STc3 N3VGT1E6MA
Dec 10, 2010 10:52 AM
Guest :
thanks! i have to do a science project and this is gr8!
Dec 27, 2010 10:29 AM
Guest :
I am doing a study on the effects of birth order in my Individuals and Families class. I was wondering if you could fill out a short survey of about 25 questions for me! No personal information is required in the survey. It would help me out a ton! Thanks!!
Jan 2, 2011 6:05 AM
Guest :
I'm a middle born and the article works for me. My family is hierarchical and conservative and being a middle born (three of the same gender) has been difficult with no position to speak of. It seems that parents naturally tend to give attention to the extremes (oldest, youngest, only), which has made me detached, I think. Not to mention that both parents are first borns which makes it a family heavily weighted in that direction.

I think in a family of four, if all the siblings are same gender, the two in the middle can have middle-born characteristics (caveat that children are close together in age), but, also, the family may divide and create functional first and last borns. But if the first and second born are opposite gender, I think the second born will functionally be a first born. And many factors, as usual, make it so we have to 'customize' the article content to our own situation.

I've been reading a bit and some of what I read seems to say that middle-borns are defined in groups of three for the most part. Until I began this reading, I'd thought that middle-borns were the middle of three of the same gender. I think I still think this is the classical grouping (so to speak), but that other combinations of groups of three involving both genders will lead to having some of the characteristics of the middle born, but also some of the characteristics of other positions depending on overall makeup (i.e., in a situation where the middle-born is Gender A, and the oldest and youngest are Gender B, the middle-born will also have some of the characteristics of an only child and first born).

It's all theoretical, but understanding birth order has been one of the most helpful things I've run across towards understanding people in the world. And being a later born, I guess I'm more likely to take a chance on a theory! :-)
Jan 23, 2011 3:16 PM
Guest :
I'm the oldest and definitly smarty-pants nerd.
Actually, something is wrong here. They say parents love the oldest more. As a matter of fact, my youngest sister got the most love. I read some other articles like this and it says that ,"Oldest born children are more prone to bitterness and jealousy because they watched their younger siblings recieve more attention. As a fact of that, oldest children are not very comfortable talking about feelings or relationships because they did not expierience boatloads of love from their parents. Oldest children usually are bossy because they did not have any other children to stand in their way, and are more likely to steal because their subconcious believes that, as the oldest, they have more of a right to everything."
Great. I'm a bitter, jealous, bossy keptomaniac who doesn't like discussing love. Thanks.
Feb 24, 2011 11:49 AM
Guest :
thanks for these information it was helpful
Mar 8, 2011 3:35 PM
Guest :
Thank you for the information. It was very good help.
Mar 17, 2011 7:14 PM
Guest :
This article is so true except for a few things: 1. I think the eldest is more susceptible to making mistakes because they are the first to try things. So they don't have it the best. But they take on the most responsibility usually, which is why they are favored and given SO MUCH POWER. 2. Sometimes, the youngest is the most studious (like me 0=], oh and my older brother is a doctor but my eldest sister is a nurse).

Other than that, everything was on point.
Apr 10, 2011 5:17 PM
Guest :
i am the middle child of three and tend to be very lazy and have a bad work ethic, but am also very intelligent. my older brother is relatively smart and has a great work ethic, while my younger brother is also relatively smart with a slightly worse work ethic than him. how does birth order effect intelligence and work ethic? Also, i agree with all but one of the middle child characteristics you have included: i am far from being the peacekeeper. my father and i tend to butt heads and i am notorious for starting fights with my brothers because i am atheist and they are not.
Apr 25, 2011 10:40 PM
Guest :
Rather fatious and not substantiated by reliable research data
The family I was considering: First child male, 2 girls follow, 3 boys follow lasly 1 girl
Oldest son was in business and neither creative or sucessful
Three sons doctors...only one of the #4 was moderately successful as physician at least two of them # 4 and #6 were bipolar
second girl hugely successful business..but very crafty
youngest girl charming but bipolar many periods of depression

The #4 bipolar successful financially as a doctor but distanced himself from patients and other individuals in life
There are so SO many varibles in each person's life I do not think, without far more substantial well researched information that conclusions are possible about any one vis positon...just some hints perhap.
May 25, 2011 3:14 AM
Guest :
its correct about the eldest
Jul 5, 2011 12:12 AM
Guest :
Wow, this is so acturate, I shocked!! I'm the youngest of 8.
I am a thrill seeker. Snowboarding, sky diving, rock climbing; i'll try just about anything... I seek out things I'm afraid of and then experience them.
I'm also a comedian. I've done improvized comedy, stand-up comedy, and like writing comedy.
I hate my people pleasing tendencies (referencing the "agreeableness" part). I've often become depressed because I never understood why I'd be agreeable when I justly should of been confrontational. It's probably b/c my brothers easily won any fight/conflict. The closest one to me was 4 years older. Talk about unfair fights.

As for the 5 middle children, that section is hit or miss. I mean, there are five of them... all of the bullets are covered by not by one single sibling.

As for the oldest, she did receive the most education, but she is not smarter. The weight of expectations of my overtly religious parents crushed her self-esteem and confidence. She could have been successful, but her anxieties became chronic and debilitating. Now she makes much much less than one who has a master's degree should.
Jul 23, 2011 1:18 PM
Guest :
This was very useful in understanding a bit of reason about my siblings but due the fact they are step siblings to each other and half siblings to me it doesnt give me quite a look at where this places me. I dont seem to fit most of these traits.
Aug 30, 2011 7:09 PM
Guest :
I was raised tightly in the middle of three boys, very close in age. I am the only one of the three boys who graduated college. I moved twenty-five hundred miles away for work and had no problems adjusting or making new friends. Both of my brothers continue to live within thirty miles of my parents. I was the only one to graduate high school, go off to college, and stay on my own. Both my younger and older brothers lived at home well into their twenties.

You make a lot of absurd assumptions here which appear to be based on a myopic and dubious over-simplification of reality. What exactly are your credentials? Why are you pontificating about anything?
Sep 5, 2011 8:02 PM
Guest :
would love to see something on boy girl twins with no other siblings. we're definitely a different category.
Sep 16, 2011 4:58 PM
Guest :
I hated being the first born, basically since forever (I was only alone in the world for 13 months before my sister came along.) I guess it was the typical female complex about being/getting "older" for me! My sister is definitely more adventurous, mysterious...no one knows about her life, we basically have no relationship outside of blood. But I am the "screw up" one. She makes more money (I am on disability). She's more decisive. She's basically more of her own person than I am. I'm more the peacemaker, indecisive and I'm the funnier one. Parents spent more on my education but a lot of good that did, we both went to grad school but I didn't finish my degree, my sister did. She's the "doer", I"m the "thinker" but I don't know if this translates into me having a higher IQ - and even if it did, who cares? I think it was already established like 15 years ago that emotional intelligence is more predictive of "success" than how "smart" you are. On top of that, I'm older! There's no fun in being the first born. Seriously.
Oct 19, 2011 4:21 AM
Guest :
nothing on only children:(
Oct 30, 2011 8:15 AM
Guest :
I read Frank Sulloway's book on birth order. In it he thinks of the only born as a first born on steroids. In other words, the descriptions of the first born in this article apply, but with more intensity.
I also looked through a book called Birth Order by Leman and he says more or less the same thing (but I don't recommend Leman's book since it seems to be biased heavily towards Pop Psych in general -- better to read Sulloway).
Based on this reading, some examples that have been given for birth order positions seem to get debunked. For example, on the Today Show website, they describe Bill Gates of Microsoft fame, as a middle born, since he was born between an older and a younger sister. Problem there is that gender makes a difference, and therefore why wouldn't Gates be at least as easily influenced by only- or first-bornedness? And given the extreme nature of the only born, wouldn't it be a stronger argument that someone like that behaves more like an only born, or first born?
Nov 7, 2011 11:43 AM
Guest :
im the middle child and im almost the complete opposite of all the traits it has listed. im the most attached to the family and i am quick at making decisions.etc.
Nov 30, 2011 12:54 AM
Guest :
Uhm...wow. WOW. This is accurate 100%. My oldest brother who is now 26 is my mom's favourite and he's well educated and just everything on that list. The middle child are my sister and 3rd oldest brother and they ARE the peacemakers. And then there is me. I'm seriously the wild, fun-loving crazy one in the family and I do want to be an artist and travel the world when I'm older. And finally, I get along in the world.

This is crazy.
Jan 14, 2012 8:43 PM
Guest :
I'm the youngest child but I seem to fit the middle child traits more :/. Also, according to what this says about smartness and education I must be really dumb. I'm the youngest of 8....
Jan 15, 2012 4:50 PM
Guest :
wow its like everyone here is a middle child xD haha Im an only child, nothing on me of course. but I think its so funny cause my crush is the youngest of 5, and everything here describes him perfectly!
Jan 25, 2012 4:38 PM
Guest :
Im a middle child and i don't think that's entirely true. i have more of the " First born " things. im way smarter then my brother. and i already have my career picked out not just that i have my life planned out. so just goes to show you that all middle kids are not the same.
Feb 9, 2012 9:17 AM
Guest :
I agree with everything that you are saying, being the middle child is really a challenge and its sad because it feels like youre always being ignored. and being the middle child is going to the one that mostly gets picked on.
Mar 4, 2012 11:48 PM
Guest :
I'm the youngest child of three. Brother's oldest, sister's middle child. We're all a year apart.
Some things are spot on about me being the youngest: Artistic, satirical, agreeable. That describes me definitely. However, I'm not adventurous, I don't like to take risks and I'm not outgoing.

My parents dragging me to my brother & my sister's sports games. I wasn't allowed to play tennis because they didn't have time or money for it. It was pretty typical my wants were put last. I loved to draw, read, and write. My school didn't have an art program so when I was 8 I begged my parents to let me take an art class. They finally gave in. I was the only child in the class with adults & the teacher said I was almost at the same level as them. My parents didn't put me in anymore classes because they said they couldn't afford it. I found out though that my class was cheaper than the soccer my sister was in or the baseball my brother took.

I was a shy kid and my brother used to tease me constantly and he'd shove me around constantly. My parents never did anything when I told them, they said to just ignore it. Once he nearly broke my arm. My brother never even got punished. My dad just told him not to be 'so rough' then he was allowed to go back outside to play with his friends.

My parents were always talking about how important an education is so I wanted to make them proud (and hopefully get more positive attention from them in the process). I was a nerd. Read a ton of books, studied for hours a day, always did homework. My parents never really said anything about my grades but my sister would get praise if she got a C+ in math, and my brother would always be told how clever he was. Because I was shy, it was hard to make friends. I always had a couple but when you have only a few friends who live across town, it's hard to get together with them since you're reliant on your parents driving you there and they're just so busy. So I was alone a lot of the time. My parents then said I needed to get out more and make friends. The kids in the neighbourhood were my brother's or my sister's. I had one down the street which I saw a couple times a week. Still, apparently it wasn't enough for my parents. They said I didn't have enough friends. Catch 22.

My dad always told me being an artist or a writer was a waste. He told me to be a lawyer. I told him I didn't want to be a lawyer, I wanted to write and do art. He was always unsupportive and it still hurts. My mom kept her mouth quiet while my dad went on telling me how I need to get a degree, get a full time job then do art on the side. That it was the only way I'd ever be able to put food on the table. By the time I graduated high school, I was afraid my dad was right so I took their advice (being the good girl). I now have a degree that is useless unless I take more schooling on top of that. The thought of doing that makes me sick to my stomach. . And yet, he supported my brother when he wanted to be a drummer and my sister when she wanted to become a pro soccer player. Now I work at a crappy job and I'm trying to get back some of that passion for art and writing. My sister and my brother are both really successful.

Lately I noticed a lot of unfair treatment from my parents. Photos. For an anniversary present to my parents, we intended to make four albums for them, all nice & similarly covered. 1 with pictures of my brother. 1 of my sister, 1 of me, and 1 pictures of the whole family. Well there were about 8 photos of my during my entire childhood through to graduating high school. My photos were put in with the generic family pictures. My sister had a huge album. My brother had a huge album. Even my uncle pointed out that I had no photos. That hurt a LOT because my dad loved taking pictures of everyone and everything. He had taking courses in photography and yet he didn't want to take pictures of me? Yeah it hurts. Sadly, I've read this is very common for last borns, that the parents don't take any photos of them.

Another common fact of being a youngest child is that people constantly talk over me. It's quiet, I'll start talking and everyone ignores me and talks amongst themselves or over me. I'll be like "Mom, what do you think-" and she asks my sister what she's doing next week. It's not just once in awhile, it's constant. Also, I found out that my parents call my brother & my sister three times a week and they sometimes don't call me for almost two weeks. I call them but sometimes they just don't have tim to talk.

It sucks.
Mar 5, 2012 5:15 PM
Guest :
Would want to know if there is strong evidence that kids especially boys born in 1978 are not able to find their "niche " in life and still not earning or doing "well" in life ?
Mar 25, 2012 10:22 PM
Guest :
I'm the oldest and I have all the middle child traits but none of the oldest traits. My younger sister is much smarter than I am and much closer to my parents. Every time my parents had a child (there are 5 and we are all 3 years apart) I got less and less attention.
47 Comments
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