- Different Types of Abuse in "Love" Relationships - sxc anon
Recognizing neglect, physical, sexual or emotional abuse in a love relationship can be difficult! Most abusers insist it isn't abuse, swear you to secrecy, or threaten to harm you if you tell. And even though it's supposed to be "love" -- it's not. Love never involves abuse.
Surviving an abusive relationship is more difficult when you're a child, or if you're isolated from your friends and family, or if you feel you deserve to be treated that way.Anyone can abuse you: parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, teachers, grandparents, colleagues – even your lover or best friend.
The four different types of abuse in relationships include neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. Neglect is the most common type of abuse; emotional abuse is the most difficult to recognize.
Four Different Types of Abuse in Love Relationships
Neglect is the most common type of abuse. Some research claims children are more likely to be neglected if they're poor because parents are preoccupied with survival – but wealthy families definitely can and do neglect their kids. Neglect occurs when parents or guardians don't provide food, shelter, safety, supervision, clothes, education, attention, or medical treatment – often it's about what they don't do.
Physical abuse can be the easiest of all four types of abuse to spot because the clues are obvious when someone hits, slaps, beats, burns, kicks, or stabs you. However, there may not be evidence when someone grabs your arm, shakes you, or pushes you around – but that's definitely physical abuse.
Sexual abuse is any form of touching, intercourse, or exploitation of your body. This includes taking pictures you for sexual purposes, asking you to touch someone else's private parts, and making sexual references to your body. Being forced to touch or have sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend against your will is sexual abuse. Abusive love relationships can make you feel ashamed.
Emotional abuse is when someone threatens or humiliates you. This includes calling you names, putting you down, insulting you, or breaking your things. Control is a huge part of emotional abuse and involves chronic anger, jealousy, accusations, and distrust. This type of abuse is the hardest to spot because the injuries aren't physical or immediately visible. Emotional abuse is similar to psychological bullying, and can be mistaken for passionate or intense love. Abusive relationships don't always involve physical violence.
Are you abused? Read How to Leave an Abusive Relationship.
11 Warning Signs of Emotional Abuse:
- Constant phone calls, text-messages, e-mails, IMs, etc. to check up on you (harrassment)
- Extreme jealousy when you talk to or spend time with other people
- Name-calling or putting you down, either when you're alone or with other people.
- Behavior that you have to apologize or make excuses for.
- Statements like, "I can't live without you. If you leave me, I'll kill myself."
- You feel depressed, anxious, and unhappy in your relationship.
- You're scared to upset or make your partner angry.
- You've seen your partner hurt or talk down to other people.
- You're down on yourself, or even hate yourself, especially when you're together.
- You lie about the bruises or cuts you have.
- You don't spend as much time with your friends, and you feel isolated.
Getting Help and Surviving Abuse
Getting help when you're in an abusive relationship always involves reaching out to someone: friends, family, neighbors, counselors, the police. You have to tell someone that you're being abused no matter how embarrassing or painful it is, and you have to let people help you get out of the abusive relationship.
Leaving a man who abuses can be like breaking an addiction - but love is never about demeaning or hurting another person - no matter how sorry everyone is afterwards.
If you found Different Types of Abuse in Love Relationships helpful, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love.
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen is a full-time writer and blogger in Vancouver, BC, and the creator of the Quips and Tips blog series.
