How to Be a Good Friend - 6 Friendship Tips

The Health Benefits of Friendship and a Strong Support Network

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How to be a Good Friend  - sxc janwillem
How to be a Good Friend - sxc janwillem
Knowing how to be a good friend is the best way to make and keep good friends! These friendship tips include a summary of the emotional health benefits of friendship.

The emotional health benefits of friendship include a longer, happier life. Being a good friend makes your life more fun, interesting, and easy to handle! When you have even just one close or best friend, your attitude and ability to deal with stress and problems is increased.

Surprisingly, even spending time with an intimate partner doesn't provide the same physical and emotional health benefits as friendship. Good friends offer a different kind of support than lovers, siblings, parents, or children do. Good friends provide a different level of understanding and communication -- and this positively affects your health, wellness, and attitude. Strong feelings of connectedness is another emotional health benefit of friendship.

The Emotional Health Benefits of Friendship

Psychological research shows that stressed-out hamsters with skin wounds who were paired with other hamsters healed faster than those left alone to heal. The hamsters with friends also produced less of the stress hormone cortisol, which has negative effects on mood and immunity. You may not be a hamster, but the effects are transferable to human friends. If you're depressed, recuperating from an illness, or stressed you'll heal and deal faster with friends. This is a huge health benefit of friendship.

Researchers haven’t figured out exactly how, but friends boost your immune system. Good friends help you relax, take a deep breath, and remember what really matters – and why. The connection and relationship you feel when you’re with your friends boosts your feelings of hope, faith, and belief that things will be Okay. Friends provide comfort and companionship, laughter and honesty. A strong support network can also keep you motivated and energized! This is why it's important to know how to be a good friend.

A strong support network isn't just about emotions and feelings. A major emotional health benefit of friendship is moral support. Practically speaking, when a friend accompanies you to a doctor’s appointment or medical procedure, you’re more likely to experience lower blood pressure and a slower heart rate. You’ll heal faster and live longer. Without social ties or friends to keep you going, you’re more likely to experience negative emotions, more illnesses, and even earlier death than normal.

A strong support network will keep you alive and well - especially if you know how to be a good friend.

6 Ways To Be A Good Friend

  1. Spend quality time together. If you can’t go for walks or to yoga class together, then telephone or email your friend regularly. The conversations needn’t be long or personal; those quick “I’m thinking of you” moments can go a long way in making a strong support network.
  2. Make friends a priority. Maybe you “should” clean the house, wash the dog, go grocery shopping, or watch tv (some people feel they should do that!). But give those “shoulds” the brush and prioritize your friendships. There will be plenty of time for those “shoulds” when you’re dead. For now, think about the health benefits of friendship.
  3. Be there for the good and bad. Show up for the funerals and the weddings, the surgeries and the celebrations! Be sincerely sad or genuinely happy for your friend – and include them on the good and bad in your life, too. One way to be a good friend is to be inclusive.
  4. Don’t keep score. Who called who last? Who bought lunch last? Who spent the most on Christmas gifts? Who forgot whose birthday? Who cares? If you have a good friend, cut a little slack. If your friendship really isn’t that great, then maybe you need to re-evaluate it. The health benefits of friendship will outlast the score-keeping cards.
  5. Notice the little things. The conversations that matter the most are the quick little ones that last only a few minutes. It’s not always the deep long heart-to-hearts that bond friends together -- it's the day to day minutiae of everyday life. One way to be a good friend is to have short, sweet conversations.
  6. Focus on the positive. We all have quirks and weaknesses; focusing on your friend’s strengths and wonderful qualities will keep your friendship alive and strong. To be a good friend, forget about the things you wish were different.

Do you have trouble choosing the right friends? Read 5 Types of Toxic People to Avoid.

If you found How to Be a Good Friend helpful, try:

Laurie Pawlik Kienlen, Psychology Feature Writer, Bruce Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen is a full-time writer and blogger in Vancouver, BC, and the creator of the Quips and Tips blog series.

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23 Comments

Comments

May 2, 2008 2:30 PM
Guest :
I am happy when I am in the company of a good friend and I am equally happy when I am alone.
Oct 10, 2008 11:44 PM
Guest :
it hurts when ur frd ignores you>>>>>..
Oct 10, 2008 11:45 PM
Guest :
it hurts when you come to know that you are no more a priority in your best friends life
Nov 4, 2008 3:19 AM
Guest :
Its been about year ago since me and my mate were close, he found his first girlfriend and now things changed. Suddenly my friendship was ALWAYS compromised for his girlfriend as we no longer 'hung out' togther and catch up during class with what was going on in our lives.
I suppose this neglectful behaviour by my ex-friend resulted in me turning sour and resentful. Few months late after a bitter dispute on the issue we stopped talking to each. For about 6months we didn't talk or make eye contact with each other until i was apologised to.
In a sense i did regret accepting the apology as it really made no impact on how our 'friendship' (if you could even call it that) was and i still kept feeling the bitter sting of neglect.
Being a guy i suppose its that little bit more difficult to express your feelings to each other. Even today despite my many efforts to remain in contact with this person we hardly ever speak to each other and now that in life we have gone in separate ways this friendship is literally hanging on a string.
My advice to other people would be to not be hasteful to show anger or feelings of resentful to your friend no matter how justifiable you anger is and if possible try to assertively commmunicate your feelings with them. If in the end like you really don't see your friendship improving then it really is time to move on. Do not resort to self-destructive behaviour that may jeopardise your future as I guaratnee you'll have many opportunities to make new friends.
All the best,
Annonymous
Jan 7, 2009 6:38 AM
Karen Plumley :
We all need a little reminder from time to time of what is really important, and this article says it perfectly. Thanks, Laurie!
Feb 21, 2009 5:06 AM
Guest :
ooh good list. when there is a good compatibility there, i do notice certain friends having a natural priority in my life, it's easier to not worry about the negative stuff, and there's no need to keep score cos you can trust that it all evens out in the end. i reckon it's maybe a bit risky to say that these are "6 ways to be a good friend", because it implies that you have to engineer it, otherwise you're a bad person. but these are definitely things that are nice to be aware of. :)
Feb 22, 2009 6:00 AM
Guest :
All very theoretical. I have done all those things and it's just untrue. Most people these days are superficial and not interested in anything you say.

I am the sort of person that will be with people through thick and thin, but when things really go wrong EVERYONE scarpers, i.e. fair-weather friends.

However as the author of this article has obviously never had their live go completely wrong, then they wouldn't know that about "friends".

There are lot's of myths being peddled about friends, but the bottom line is that it's all complete rubbish.

Being kind doesn't make a difference, people these days are so superficial they just want to "plug their friends in like an X-Box". Harsh but fair.

I have yet to find any friendships that are real.

You say about not counting things like who calls... but what if people NEVER call.

Your article is a nice attempt but it a complete fallacy.
May 27, 2009 7:41 PM
Guest :
I like friends I can trust.
Jun 29, 2009 10:03 AM
Guest :
How can you be friends with someone you cannot trust. In other words, if she lies to one of her good friends or talks about the friend behind her back, she will do it to you too. I guess us "liars" are in good company. By the way LV, keeping something from someone or not giving the facts are the same thing as lying.
Nov 2, 2009 7:43 AM
Guest :
it hurts when u have a "PLASTIC FRIENDS" right??so be wise of choosing friends..
Aug 23, 2010 8:55 PM
Guest :
all my friends ditched me but thats ok cos i got my sis on them love you sis xoxo
Aug 25, 2010 11:59 PM
Guest :
this article is great but im really shy..........
Nov 10, 2010 12:53 PM
Guest :
My best friend moved-- four years later we are seeing each other again- what if she doesn't like me?
Nov 27, 2010 12:33 AM
Guest :
Focus on the positive!! That is something I often do when meeting someone, BUT THEN I start thinking of everything that annoys me about that person. I gotta stop doing that! lol. everyones got flaws! It takes a stable, strong person to look past flaws and focus on the positivity of the friendship. I'm gonna go make up with ma ex-best-buddy now:-D ..even tho she acts fake and talks like a ganster now... wtf??? ok maybe I won't >:/
Dec 27, 2010 10:49 AM
Guest :
I think this is a really good source for a strong start of a friendship.
Feb 1, 2011 1:08 AM
Guest :
It hurts when your best friend starts treating you lyk a second class friend. As a human being we enjoy the feeling of being valued and treasured by someone no matter the hitches that might arose in your friendship. ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND HOW YOU WANT IT. Its the only way to avoid misunderstanding as much as matters concerning friendship are observed.
Mar 19, 2011 3:03 AM
Guest :
Good friends are like earthly Angels to me! And let us only do exactly what we would love to be do for!
Mar 19, 2011 1:16 PM
Guest :
I have been LONGING for a real best friend all my life. I have a really good life- married, is a Christian, have a degree, have a great job, have a good family, have good friends.... but I am lacking a best friend. I don't know if I'm looking in the wrong places, at the wrong girlfriends, at the wrong time, but it has just never happened.... Loneliness when it comes to having a best friend you can relate to and vice versa kills.... (sigh).....
Jun 10, 2011 3:02 AM
Guest :
I really want to be good friend to all my friends, but I don't know exactly what to do to make them all happy with me.
Jul 17, 2011 10:11 AM
Guest :
I LOVE IT
Jul 31, 2011 1:10 AM
Guest :
i really sad i made my bestfriend upset..i knew she mad at me,but she keep deny..i love her <3 she made a good choice for sharing with other pple who can make her cheer up and laugh everytime..i will always support her.. Yeah, always..
Aug 18, 2011 11:49 AM
Guest :
My freind sacrificd things for me and I just do not know how to repay her thanks my freinds. Since my child hood I was a terrible freind. But I never felt so down. I realized how much I loved her till now. she and my other freind were acadamic but since they met me their grades declined and mine rose. I guess their family hates me. I lied to them about many things and I am worried about what will happen if they discover my lies
Oct 4, 2011 10:13 AM
Guest :
i love my friends and will always
23 Comments
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