Mentoring inspires and motivates people to achieve – and excel. Research shows that women who are mentored are more likely to advance their careers, earn higher salaries, and enjoy their work. Women who have business mentors also report higher self-esteem and self-confidence.
There are both natural and unnatural ways to find a mentor – and there’s no one “best way to find a mentor.” Sometimes mentoring relationships develop naturally, other times they’re contrived. Whether they occur naturally or not, mentoring relatonships (or coaching relationships) offer huge benefits to both parties.
8 Ways to Find a Mentor
- Approach a colleague with specific goals. Your workplace or school is a natural way to find a mentor because it’s part of your daily life. When you approach a potential mentor, be clear about your plans. Do you want to meet every month and discuss your professional goals, such as how to earn a higher salary? Are you hoping to learn more about his or her professional history, or are you more forward-looking? The more clarity you have about your goals for the mentoring relationship, the more successful it (and you) will be. Remember that mentors are not life coaches (see below for the difference between life coaches and mentors).
- Look at your family. You may have a natural mentor in your uncle, sister, mom or godfather – and you may not even know it. A mentor is someone who helps you plan your personal or professional goals, guides you toward smart decisions objectively, and helps you strategize for the future. If you have a healthy, strong-willed family member, a natural mentor may be closer than you think. A mentor doesn’t have to be a PhD or CEO to provide guidance.
- Be open to mentors of the opposite sex. Don’t get hung up on finding a same-sex mentor. Dr Faith-Anne Dohm of Fairfield University recently surveyed women in clinical psychology regarding their research and doctorate studies. She found that those who had research mentors during graduate school were twice as likely to continue doing research after getting their degree than those who did not have mentors. Dr Dohm also found that the gender of the mentor didn’t matter.
- Consider a long distance mentoring relationship. Emailing every few weeks could be just as helpful as meeting in person. Your mentor can live overseas or a different state or province, and still be effective in helping you set professional goals that are realistic and achievable. A coaching relationship can thrive over a long distance.
- Talk to strangers. If you meet someone interesting at a conference or business lunch, ask for her card. If you can’t quite summon the nerve to suggest a mentoring relationship outright, consider emailing the suggestion later. Most people are flattered at this type of request, and realize the value of helping others succeed. Many mentors also know the benefits of a mentoring relationship to their own personal lives and professional careers.
- Consider an “impersonal” mentoring relationship. You don’t necessarily have to know someone to be inspired by them. For instance, Oprah Winfrey is an unofficial or informal mentor to millions of women – but she certainly can’t meet with them or discuss their professional goals in person. Suze Orman, Condoleeza Rice, Faith Popcorn, Martha Beck, Barbara Walters – there are hundreds of celebrities or unknowns who can offer motivation to succeed. Simply following their careers or reading their books is an impersonal mentoring relationship that can help you achieve your goals.
- Spread the word. Tell colleagues, friends, and family that you’re hoping to find a mentoring or coaching relationship. Be specific about your goals, whether it’s earning a higher salary or getting your PhD. The more people you tell, the higher your chances are of succeeding. (This, by the way, works for everything you want in life!).
- Visit the Peer Resources Find a Mentor website. This is a great site that offers a list of potential mentors, Find a Mentor resources, and tips on finding a mentor. This site also lists Mentor Services available on the Internet.
The Difference between Life Coaches and Mentors
A mentoring relationship never costs money – not like a coaching relationship or life coach would. Mentoring relationships are less structured and less directed than coaching relationships.
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Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen is a full-time writer and blogger in Vancouver, BC, and the creator of the Quips and Tips blog series.
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